Wednesday 30 March 2016

Timelash

Season 22, Story 5/6, Serial 6Y: 2 x 45min episodes, 9th & 16th March 1985, Writer: Glen McCoy, Director: Pennant Roberts, Script Editor: Eric Saward, Producer: John Nathan-Turner
Ed Watkinson@CouncillorEd a very misunderstood story.
Michael Seely@mpseely Its alright. One of those eps you can play fantasy director and do 'better' yerself. Timelash a whirlpool etc.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Some say that in such a bleak and nasty season, this offers some light relief. I say this is as bleak as it gets.

Davad@davadsteel You can see Colin trying SO hard in this story. He knows he's been dealt a stinker.

Our adventure begins in the vortex of time, where, inside his deceptively larger within than without craft, known as the TARDIS, that adventurer in time and space, Doctor Who, is busy consulting a star map. You know, just like he never does...


Now in his 6th incarnation, the Doctor is a tall, powerful figure, exuding confidence and energy, with a mop of curly hair and a round face. His bombastic nature is reflected in his costume, which is colourful, to put it mildly...

Pretty sure that map was on Adric's wall at one point.
James Cooray Smith@thejimsmith It's in Kinda (in the dome) & on the wall of Adric's bedroom in Earthshock, that map.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly And turns up on the Hyperion III in Vervoids. That map is the first proper timey-wimey event in Who.

He's planning on taking Peri to Andromeda.

That's an unusually sensible outfit for Peri.

Davad@davadsteel My mum commented on that at the time. "Covered up for once!"

"Some of the most magical sights in the entire universe. Astral starbursts creating a myriad celestial bodies against a timeless royal blue backdrop..." Colin's very good at waxing lyrical about these places... even if the description is always roughly the same!
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Why are they travelling together? Peri's life on Earth must have been horrific. She freaks out when he suggests going home.

This feels like padding IN THE VERY FIRST SCENE.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly The Sixth Doctor Era is all padding. They're waiting for better ideas to show up. Not Colin's fault, I hasten to add.

A purple haze glistens on the conglomeration of pyramids that make up the Central Citadel of the planet Karfel’s principal city... It's only a model. A nice one though.

Within the Citadel, a small band of rebels are on the run from their guardolier oppressors.

Ah, baby Stephen MacIntosh. Let's have him in the new series, please, quality actor.

What's that awful multi-coloured monstrosity!! And for once I don't mean Colin's coat!
Charles Daniels@ukoddball cool digital madness!



How does Peri know about the Daleks and that they had a time tunnel? Has the Doctor been filling her in about the events of Resurrection of the Daleks for some reason?
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Who was it that suggested by this point the Doctor has his companions study his past so they can have fanwank conversations?

The rebels Gazak and Tyheer are rounded up by some beekeepers...


...with their leader, Aram, soon joining them, stunned at the hands of a giant blue faced android.

Aram is carried to the inner sanctum of Karfel's supposedly benevolent dictator, the Borad...

...where she soon meets a nasty end, aged to death.

In the Council Chamber, Vena, the daughter of Council Leader (the Maylin) Renis, hears the news from Mykros that fellow councillor Tyheer was among the rebels captured.

Mykros dares to express his doubts about their mysterious ruler, the Borad: "What sort of leader never appears in public, only on a screen?"

Avon! He'll sort this rabble out. We know he doesn't take well to being betrayed...

Paul Darrow plays Tekker, an ambitious councillor who's fiercely loyal to the Borad. When it suits him.

Brought to "trial" in front of the council, Tyheer pleads for his life, imploring the Maylin that he led the guardoliers to the other rebels.

But with Tekker dripping poison in his ear, Maylin Renis sentences him - and Gazak - to be thrown into the Timelash for their crimes against the Borad...

Gazak has some final words; he says he's no rebel. "I love this planet. My crime is merely a concern for our world, our people, our loss of freedom, and the growing danger of an interplanetary war."

Tekker's keen to be rid of them, though, and fires up the ominous sounding "Timelash".

Oh noes! They've been thrown in the tinsel box!

Once it gets put in the attic no-one'll get it down till next Xmas!

Gazak's not wrong to be concerned, by the way. The Karfelons' neighbouring (former) allies, the Bandrils, are poised to invade since the Borad rescinded the grain supply treaty that formerly kept the peace between them.


Wonder if the Borad had deliberately based his public face on a younger-looking Keeper of Traken...
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Or Chronotis.

More stalling in the TARDIS; must keep the Doctor from being involved in the story at all costs, eh, Eric?

Davad@davadsteel Colin is very good in this to be fair. Very funny performance.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly I'd forgotten how good he is in this. And I'll forget again, because everything else is so boooring!!


Mykros begins to test out whether the Maylin's sympathies can be swayed. His wife, Vena's mother, is recovering from major surgery, and the Borad's increasing demands for power threaten her recovery.

Vena has quite a strange accent.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Vena is quite strange. Was the actress heavily medicated?

The Doctor's efforts to avoid embarrassing the script editor by actually appearing on screen collision with the time corridor grow increasingly frantic.

Maylin Renis uses a technological key in the form of a medallion to enter the Borad's power complex, where he's required to divert essential power away from the city - and the very hospital in which his wife's life hangs in the balance.

Mykros sneaks inside to urge the puppet leader to act against the Borad's tyranny.
But Renis stoically prioritises the population at large. "If we tampered with his power supply, he'd wipe us out within seconds."

The Borad's orders are for *all* power, except that for the Timelash, to be diverted through his vault. It's a death sentence for Tola, but Renis carries out his orders anyway.

Mykros vows to bring the Borad down, but Renis wants his family - including Vena - kept out of it.

Hang about, the Keeper of Traken isn't really the Borad at all - it's some be-flippered Davros-lite type!

The Androids voices vaguely remind me of the Cybermen in The Tenth Planet.


The Doctor's chest of nick-nacks, oft-seen in Troughton's time, and later resurrected in The Unicorn and the Wasp, makes a reapparance, containing Shockeye's top hat, as well as...

...Seat-belts for the TARDIS console? Do me a favour!
Lisa P & Andrew T@lisacartman 1977 Annual reference! :-)

Maylin Renis has a date with destiny as the Borad turns out to be not just a dictator but also a paranoid surveillance nut whose Watergate style recordings have sealed Renis' fate.

The sound and visual FX off the Borad's aging ray is rather nifty.

Nice Skeleton there.

The Borad already has Renis' successor in mind; someone who's used to stepping up when a leader goes AWOL...

Meet the new boss... Avon calling!

Tekker can barely disguise his delight as he feins a heavy heart to break it to Vena that he's about to have Mykros chucked in the Timelash.

Vena suddenly shows a flicker of life as she snatches the control amulet from Tekker to use as leverage to have Mykros freed.

Her plan goes tits up though - Mykros makes his getaway, but Tekker's android guard knocks Mena herself into the Timelash.

Naturally, Tekker's concern is only really for the amulet - and himself.

Colin and Nicola give it some boss-like "wobbly Enterprise bridge" acting. Dignity; always dignity.

The "spooky" sound of Vena flitting through the TARDIS as they cross trajectories in the time tunnel is pure Rentaghost. 

Shameful, really. Did no one care? It's things like this that make it very hard to square how much JNT apparently loved the show with how unforgivably he took his eye off the ball with the little details that matter.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly It doesn't help that most of the supporting cast appear to be sleep-walking. I'll say this; when given the material, Colin's Doctor is brilliant.

If Tekker & co. can't retrieve the amulet, they're all for the Timelash. The Borad will have all 500 Karfelons in the Citadel wiped out. His androids have : The androids have already sealed the complex.

Tekker breathes a sigh of relief when the TARDIS is detected in the Timelash, surmising it must be the kind of craft they need to retrieve the amulet.

The Borad recognises the TARDIS straight away, and looks forward to a "reunion" with the Doctor.

Sappy Councillor Kendron mometarily forgets himself and lets out a little bit of squee. "My father always talked of the Doctor's return. That is, before the story of the Doctor's visit was ordered erased from our history books..."

Tekker is confident of persuading the Doctor to go on an amule hunt for them.

The Doctor warns Peri not to go wandering off. Something's not right on Karfel; the Timelash is centuries ahead of their technological level.

They're welcomed with open arms by Tekker and his crony councillors.

"Only the two of you..." So who else was here with the 3rd Doctor and Jo? Mike? Sgt. Osgood? Corporal Bell?
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly I'm sure Big Finish are on the case.
Lisa P & Andrew T@lisacartman Wishing it could have been Pigbin Josh...

As the Pertwee Portrait we see later is baed on a Season 11 publicity pose from Invasion of the Dinosaurs (albeit with a green jacket instead), maybe this was a story that took place between Seasons 10 & 11, with the 3rd Doctor giving Jo & Cliff Jones a (crap) honeymoon?

atruedrwhofan@atruedrwhofan I think one of the Pertwee novels did suggest it was Mike.


Yeah; I think people tend to try to think of alternatives as no-one really likes Mike...! Or at least Jo & Mike together.

Tekker ushers them away for drinkies and nibbles.

The Doctor's not slow to spot that there've been big changes since his last visit, including the fact that they're on candid camera.

For a moment we do seem to get some nice little remembrance of Peri's interest in botany...

...as an android has to quickly step in when she takes an interest in an acid-spewing plant that's inexplicably on display all over the Citadel.

I've always said Terror of the Vervoids would have been a great story for Peri, fitting in very nicely with her field of expertise.

Local sock puppets, the Bandrils, are on the blower for Tekker.

He starts a war to distract from domestic troubles. Doesn't ring any bells.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Tekker breezily starting a war is good moment. It's maddening how close this era comes to getting the balance right.

Here's that space couch (a nasty colour here) from Robots of Death (and Blake's 7), as clocked by @claytonhickman. 
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Oh, if only it had the Robots too, instead of bloody beekeepers!

They've stained it a nasty colour here, and not one that really fits the rest of the set design, so I wonder if that was done for some other production it appeared in after Blakes 7 but before now?

Another promising character moment for Peri, her being the one to notice that there are no reflective surfaces.


But as soon as she receives the cryptic message "Sezon at the Falchian Rocks" it's all downhill.


The Doctor probably thinks he's keeping her out of harm's way by sidelining her with a tour of the flora from Brunner, as he clearly suspects Tekker's up to no good...

...but as soon as she takes a detour off the beaten track, one of the beekeepers tries to ensnare her...

...in order that Tekker can blackmail the Doctor into retrieving the amulet for him.

So she's soon back to running down corridors and screaming. She never really recovers for the rest of the story.
Brunner isn't too bothered by her escape. "There's nothing that way but rebels, dank tunnels, and the Morlox."

Besides, having found the note she was passed in class he knows exactly where to find her.

Oh dear, it's that Brontosaurus from Invasion of the Dinosaurs. Don't worry, Peri, it's large, placid and stupid!

Tekker is very pleased with himself as the Doctor, believing he has Peri held hostage, agrees to go after Vena and the amulet.

Somewhere in Scotland, in the year 1885, an earnest young man is trying to commune with the dead, when who should appear but Vena! 

Peri is menaced by a Morlox, but rescued by the rebels.

Rather inexplicably, a burning android appears out of nowhere. I wonder where that came from...

Maybe the audience will find out before Part Two next week when we've all forgotten about it?

The Borad takes a shine to Peri, rating her "a plucky creature who knows how to take care of herself."

Peri's rescuers are rebel leader Sezon and brains of the operation, Katz. Despite having seen her at the mercy of the Morlox, Sezon believes she may have been sent there to trap them.

Peri gets in with a bunch of Doctor Who fans by being able to list former companions, especially Jo Grant,who gave Katz' dad a signed photo to put in a locket. No, not one of those photos. Katz' dad must have been one of those aliens that were always asking Jo to marry them, before she ended up on the slag heap with the Professor.

The Doctor is just reaching the conclusion himself that although the normal path of the Timelash leads to Earth in the year 1179, Vena's near collision with the TARDIS will have caused her to arrive much later.

That's a lovely little set, Herbert's holiday home. The man himself's a bit wet.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly He's got that dim but sincere quality that plays well against Doc's pomposity.

Herbert reminds me of Adric, but he's actually a bit sweeter as he isn't so up himself.
"Avaunt thee, foul fanged fiend!" Herbert goes all Michael Grade and attempts to exorcise the 6th Doctor.

"I can assure you I'm not that long in the tooth, and neat blood brings me out in a rash."
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Probably the best scene in the story. I think this Doctor would work much better with 2 companions. Pity Turlough left.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly The Sixth Doctor is suddenly funny, charming, watchable. Funny how this happens when he's not required to bully young women.


Yeah, I always feel that he genuinely develops and softens up to The Two Doctors, and despite Colin's best efforts your take home memory of Timelash is of a massive backwards step due to the Saward penned padding scenes, which are the laziest template "arguing in the TARDIS" scenes. Peri's development slips backwards terribly too.

Peri learns of the dangers of the Bandrils' Bendalypse missiles, that annihilate anything with a nervous system but leave buildings standing...

...before being captured by local beat combo Brunner and the Beekeepers.

Vena agrees to return to Karfel with the Doctor after hearing of his commitment to defeating the Borad...

...and though Herbert's interest has been piqued by the Doctor's time machine, he says farewell an mildly accepts being left behind. Rather too easily, in fact.

Everything's turning up Borad. His androids are preparing Peri "as ordered" andonce he has the amulet he won't need Tekker any more.

Even though she believes her fiance is "probably floating in the Timelash by now", Vena doesn't seem too worked up. The Doctor, on the other hand, shows "little mercy to time meddlers!"

Herbert has stowed away and soon finds himself en route to another world in a time machine. Best note that down.
As soon as they return Maylin Avon gets grabby, despite Vena's faith that he can't defeat a Time Lord.

In fact, Maylin Avon is so pleased that the Doctor's returned the amulet he decides to throw him into the Timelash.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly OK, Mr Darrow, you've had a laugh, can we go for a proper take now? Mr Darrow? Where's he gone?

In fairness I think Darrow tries desperately to elevate poor material, quixotically likening Tekker to a Richard III/Machiavellian type which of course is completely at odds - and ends up looking over-thought and overwrought - next to all the other Karfelons.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Oh, I think he's one of the few people to be commended. But the delivery of "admit defeat, Doctor!" just kills me.

I assume he was still reeling from being called a "microcephalic apostate"...

Now it's Colin's turn for the tinsel box.

Well, as first episode's go, that wasn't the absolute stinker of repute.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly It's too dull to leave any kind of impression.



The Doctor is able to confuzzle the android with the mirror he half-inched from Herbert's. Bit of a design flaw, that.


So after a big struggle to stay out of the Timelash (during which Brunner and the android end up going in but Tekker beats a hasty retreat)...

...the Doctor decides... to go into the Timelash. Riiiiight.
Brad Wolfe@bigbradwolf staaaaahp you're making me want to watch it!

 Oh, go on, it's a hoot!

The inside of the Timelash is awful. Horrible cheap set. That genuinely is tinsel.

Davad@davadsteel Very lazy. Even some video effects might've saved it.


There are some, a bit of a woozy blue haze, but nowhere near enough to make something of that tinselly set.

The Doctor's plan is to harvest Kontron crystals from within the Timelash. He reckons they can't escape the council chamber without them.


Maybe the Script Editor should have made it clearer what's at stake here, because it doesn't half seem like we're just wasting the first ten minutes of the episode with some tedious mucking about.

In fact, Mykros and Herbert are so fed up waiting that they go down into the Timelash to chivvy the Doctor along.

Tekker breaks Kendron's unpopularity to him in typical style:
"I have noticed it is better to die than to fail the Borad." 

"If you were to die, I don't think anybody would notice the difference." 

Delicious scheming from Tekker as he sets up Kendron to take the fall for him.

I'd forgotten the Old Man was an actual android and not just a computer generated image.

Vena congratulates the Doctor and his pals on retrieving the time crystals.

Peri gets no answers when she wonders why she's had tanks of a chemical gas strapped to her chest.

Ever the paranoid, the Borad suspects Tekker has betrayed him...

...but of course Tekker throws Kendron under the bus.

While the rebels faff with a cursory barricade, the Doctor is still smugly keeping his plans to himself. GET ON WITH IT!

FINALLY the Doctor's crystal contraption is ready, and instead of just telling people what it is, he insists on a flamboyant demonstration.

So now we're getting the Invisible Man, though it's not particularly clear as it seems more of a time travel thing, with first the Doctor's actions, then his movements seen, with a delay between the two thanks to the crystal's temporal properties.

More great Doctor-ing from Colin here; so far from being the "nasty" Doctor of Vengeance on Varos etc.
The Doctor gives Herbert a special viewer so he'll be able to see both the image and the time-slipped real self.


"Oh no! The Bandrils!" said no-one, ever.

Oh yeah, Peri, we'd forgotten about her... Whoops!
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly This is the sort of situation Terrance Dicks claims he likes for the companion, but he never wrote anything so crap.

Think I just spotted Paul Darrow's teeth-marks in that scenery.

More Doctor-ish Colin may be, but he makes short work of that android...

...sending it back in time (and space) to appear at the Falchian Rocks in part one!

The Beekeepers make it in, but Mykros takes them down. In the struggle, one of the wall panels is shattered, revealing a portrait of a former visiter to Karfel - none other than Worzel Gummidge!

The Bandrils are on their way, refusing to answer Mykros' calls, and they'll soon be in range to wipe them all out.

Herbert wants to tag along as the Doctor heads off to face the Borad, and promises he won't get in the way.

He's got that right - the door shuts before he can join him. He'll have to take a seat in the gallery...

Tekker thinks he's getting the drop on the Doctor, totally failing to spot the comeuppance looming on the horizon.

The Doctor knows a Morlox when he smells one, and sure enough, with a dramatic spin of the chair, the real Borad reveals himself to be half man, half Morlox.

We seem to be getting the Doctor's showdown with the Borad rather early on in this episode.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly This is a neat little scene, but played too slow.

Definitely! Colin plays it well but it's total lack of pace makes it seem so low stakes.

Herbert watches from above, still clutching his magic time viewmaster, as the Borad reveals his scheme to let the Karfelons be wiped out by the Bandrils, then repopulate the planet with half-Morlox mutants like himself.

This is news that goes down badly with Tekker. "You will not destroy my people. I am the Maylin now. I will not let you."

The Borad doesn't beat about the bush. "Idiot."

"Time-Lords do not have a monopoly on the 4th Dimension!" They should have done.

The Doctor thinks the Borad'll have a job repopulating the planet without a mate, but of course that's where Peri comes into it.


Once the Morlox pierces the tank of Mustakozene gas, it'll replicate the same accident that created the Borad.

Before that he was just plain old scientist Magellan, whose unethical experiments the 3rd Doctor condemned.

Desperate to find the control that'll free Peri, the Dotor activates his crystal. Herbert follows his progress through his viewmaster.

Now the Doctor's playing on the Borad's fruit machine. Lemons, though.

Lemon juice, lemon juice, lemon juice...

And despite the Doctor's warning that as far as the crystal's concerned, what goes around comes around...

 ...the Borad only succeeds in aging himself to death.

Well, that's this story done. Erm.. aren't there still 15 minutes to go?

Herbert gets to play the hero and rescue Peri from the Morlox.

You'd've thought the Doctor would be happier to see Peri alive, but, y'know, Saward.

Shame we're in JNT's "no hanky panky in the TARDIS" era; a hug wouldn't have gone amiss here. Surprised he's allowed to touch her at all, frankly.

That Bandril missile looks a bit suspect.

Not only has the Bandril Ambassador sent them a missile instead of any Ferrero Rocher, he refuses to destroy it without sight of the Borad's body.

The Doctor's going to have to resort to plan B.

Those TARDIS doors are bouncing around all over the place.

And now a padding scene where the Doctor & Peri have an argument and quote a thesaurus at one another.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Imagine how adorable and playful this would have been if their relationship wasn't built on physical and verbal abuse?

Followed by another padding scene that actually manages to make Herbert a bit more endearing. 


 More by accident than design. 

"To be perfectly Frank, Herbert..." Wrong sci-fi author.
Herbert proposes noble self-sacrifice to deflect the dodgy looking Bandril missile.
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Pity they couldn't have made more of the threat of the TARDIS being destroyed. Never feels like he's in any danger.

As the Karfelons rejoice, the Bandril Ambassador explains that the Doctor sacrificed himself to take the missile hit.

He proposes to send an "Oops, my bad" card to Gallifrey for killing their president.

Peri is mildly put out...

...then nabbed by a surprisinglt healthy looking (sort of) Borad.
Hang on, isn't the Borad supposed to be dead? Why's that eye gone green?

Here's someone else that was supposed to be dead: the Doctor! And Herbert! How did they survive? The Doctor'll no doubt explain later, probably.

The Borad explains that that was just a clone that aged to death earlier. "I must have forgotten to mention the other experiment I was engaged in..." Oh give over.

The Doctor goads the Borad, telling him he can have Peri if she doesn't think he's a total uggo. Jesus, really?

"Don't I have a say in all this?"
"Of course not, be quiet!" Okaaaaay...
Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly I do like the Doctor's nonchalant walk, grabbing a stool and smashing a wall. So ... there's that.
Behind the Pertwee portrait is a mirror, in which Peri sees the Borad's face, with predictable results.

"I told you she'd scream!"


The Doctor fires up the Timelash...

...and barges the hapless Borad in, sending him to Scotland in 1179.

The Doctor says he'll be seen "from time to time" implying he's the Loch Ness Monster, rather than the Zygon Skarasen. So did all the other Timelash victims just drown in the Loch?

Then the Doctor bowls the remaining crystal into the Timelash, sealing the time tunnel forever.

As to how he and Herbert survived: "I'll explain one day..." Well you've got a minute, so why not now?
James Cooray Smith@thejimsmith There's an explanation in the novelisation, to do with jumping forward in time. Like the crystals. Was it cut?

Seems so; we go from the Doctor and Herbert talking about facing certain death, to the explosion, then they just reappear back on Karfelon where they face down the Borad, he fobs Peri off and we just get the final dialogue about Herbert's identity. In the book it's just one line that surely they could have squeezed in! 


"The waves of time wash us all clean" Lovely little line amongst the rest of the dross.

And if you hadn't guessed by now, Herbert is none other than H.G. Wells!

After all that padding a bizarrely rushed final scene. Well although that 2nd episode was very messy, overall that story wasn't as bad as its' reputation suggested, even if the first 10mins and last 15mins of part two really let it down quite dramatically. I don't think it helps that the whole thing looks so drab.

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly You can see bits that work but they're stitched together by masses of padding, dullness and incompetence. Watched it 4 or 5 times in my life and this was the first time it made me angry. Maybe 'cos I was actually thinking!

I think you just have to look for the positives - there are a fair few, I reckon, but it's such hard work much of the time!

Simon Threadgold@dimwittedly Colin's on fine form. Avon's worth a chuckle. Herbert adds some levity to the dynamic. Borad is (mostly) excellent.

Absolutely; Robert Ashby as the Borad works wonders. Fans take the mick out of Darrow but he treats it better than it deserves.



TTFN! K.
Coming Soon: Doctor Who and the Silurians