On a film set, Sean Pertwee and Olivia Coleman compare upcoming work. "Got anything nice coming up?"
Sean has a series coming up Stateside, but he can't really talk about it. (Either doesn't want to offend the Moff by mentioning Elementary, or he means Gotham...)
Of course, Olivia has Broadchurch 2 to look forward to.
"What about the Five Doctors Reboot?" she casually asks...
"Couldn't get a look in," says a pained Sean.
"No, nor could I," she complains. "I'm usually in everything..."
Round Rancho Davison...
Peter and his boys are watching the 2012 Doctor Who Christmas Special, The Snowmen...
...starring the only Doctor younger than Davison himself, Matt Smith.
Davison's lads wonder if there'll be a 50th Anniversary Special in November 2013...
It'll probably just be Matt Smith and David Tennant, they reckon.
Suddenly Davo's turkey doesn't quite sit right.
Moffat won't leave the classic Doctors out for the big day... will he...?
In the Television Centre of dreams...
"This is such an honour!"
"You were always my mum's favourite Doctor."
Wait, what?
"You were always *MY* favourite Doctor."
That's more like it, Jenna.
"I've dedicated the 50th anniversary episode to you."
All the make-up team love Peter...
Ever the voice of reason, here's a blast from the past to tell Davo he's just dreaming...
She's right, you know...
The Adventure of the Cheeky In-joke...
It's February now, and a familiar face returns from New Zealand...
...but there's no word from the Moff.
Poor old Col's got no messages on his return from the jungle, either...
An apple a day bores the arse off Davison.
By March, Davison decides to tap his inside connection...
Daughter Georgia's married to new Who Doctor David Tennant. She *must* know what's going down.
Celery and chocolate ice-cream. You don't get that in Castrovalva.
It's the same old faces on the con circuit...
In more ways than one!
Moff's secretary is used to fielding calls from nut-jobs.
Even the really ood ones! *ba-dum-tish!*
Didn't she hang around with Paul McGann for a bit? Maybe he'll mention her in a one-off minisode one day. Stranger things have happened...
Meanwhile, on the Death Star...
"The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."
"The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion."
Mrs. Col is less than impressed with his new found aversion to gardening.
Sylv takes a break from namedropping The Hobbit to leave a message for the Moff.
And here's the one that used to wear that multi-coloured... oh.
Davo decides to break the news to the lads that the 50th Anniversary might be 5th-less.
He's less than impressed that they're not less than impressed.
Meanwhile, the Moff has his own little nightmare...
...as companions past nag him for a part in the Anniversary bash.
"I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board!"
Meanwhile, at the Four Doctors convention, we meet a queue of fans.
(There's Rhys Thomas on the left. Why hasn't he had a part in the show yet, Moff?)
George Lazenby reads a script.
Col and Sylv are not at all jealous that he's always working. Not. At. All.
Paul's agent calls. "Not that I'm bothered, but have you heard anything about the Doctor Who 50th anniversary special? No... no, that's fine."
"Damn."
Sylv wonders if they should call Tom.
"Call Tom?! Why?"
Nevertheless, Col volunteers - he's eaten Kangaroo's anus in the jungle. Calling Tom will only be marginally less bizarre.
*Masterstroke Klaxon* Davison genuinely tried to get Tom to take part but says he simply never returned their calls - so he hit on the idea to wheel out the old Shada clip as per the original Five Doctors!
"Whatever it is you're planning, I'm in."
"Work permitting, obviously."
"Ooh, are you in the Hobbit, I had no idea!"
Round Bijou Baker, Marion and the Bakerettes have forgotten to hide the post...
Meaning Dad's about to get his extra features out!
"You're wasting your time..."
"I've locked all the doors!"
Come on, ladies, Vengeance on Varos isn't that bad!
Meanwhile on the Planet of the Flight of the Conchords...
In the finished edition, this piece of paper will be a mo-cap'd CGI Kiwi played by Andy Serkis.
Sylv decides to live dangerously and risk the litigiuous wrath of New Line Cinema...
...to take the lead role in Timeflight 2: Jurassic Larks
"Colin, we're on!"
Davison leads the protest in a familiar looking T-Shirt.
"Where's Paul?"
"Working."
Probably filming the Night of the something-or-other.
"Sugar?"
"Will it make a difference?"
"Every great decision creates ripples!"
"In your tea?"
"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't **** it up?"
Back (or is it forwards? I forget) in NZ, the runner man breaks it to Jacko that McCoy's gone AWOL.
Sylv has an iPhone? Blimey.
"Sir Ian, there's a problem with Sylvester..."
"Sylvester who?"
"Little bloke... bird poo... Would you possibly be able to do the scene by yourself?"
"Well, I tell you what, Peter... I think it might be a slight improvement..."
"You know they film it in Cardiff now, right?"
"Bugger."
"Wait!"
"Dammit."
"Who've you got in the car with you?"
"We'll... er... we'll leave you to it then..."
"Daddy, I'm hungry!"
"We've got to clear up the spare room for Mum's visit!"
"Guys, wait... let's rock'n'roll!"
Johnny B. drops the 3 Doctors off at the Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff.
"That's £45 please!"
Seems the 80s Docs aren't the only ones to use Barrow-tat as currency.
The lads fondly remember fitting into their old coats...
...then hide in the smaller-on-the-inside police box till after hours.
Time for Davo to ring his woman in Havana again.
"I know, I know, but Dad said if you do this one last thing he'll stop calling us!"
"Okay, okay, I'll do it."
"There was something else I meant to ask her about..."
"And push!"
"Why are we doing all this?"
"For the fans!"
That set of bastards? Don't bother, mate.
In: Rolled Gold
Out: On a Limb
Some Power-less Daleks in a BBC archive. Not pictured: Mark O'Pillow.
Davison's brought his laundry.
See, the 80s TARDIS did have a launderette. What did you think all those roundels were for? Washing Machines, obviously.
"That's not right..."
*Meglos In-Joke Klaxon* "Praise be to Ty!"
The Magnificent Three...
"It's a bit busy, isn't it?"
"I don't like all these stairs, far too energetic!"
"What the heck are those things?"
"They've turned it into a helicopter!"
"What happened to all the lovely bright lights we had in the olden days?"
"I can't be doing with all this atmospheric lighting nonsense, I like to see what I'm doing!"
"Lean on it and nothing happens! Doesn't wobble at all!"
"How do we actually get in it?"
"I never really thought we'd get this far..."
"Can we have 3 Dalek operators please?"
"It's their loss, lads, that's the way I see it."
"Must dash!"
Job done, the lads only need to make it to the exit...
But Right Said Fred have other ideas...
Is this the end? (Nah, we'd have a close-up on each of their faces if it was a cliffhanger!)
So having bought their way out with some free autographs...
...the 80s Docs celebrate with a classy roadside Cava-in-a-paper-cup.
"You can stop now, I think we've got everything!"
"...and CUT!"
Actor, Writer, Director, Doctor, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy... the godlike genius Peter Davison, who's seemingly wasted his calling as one of Britain's great comedy writers by being an actor for the last umpteen years.
"What's that one?"
"That's the 'Making Of' documentary!"
Oh, what, the one for the DVD they *still* haven't released? Come on, BBC, pull your finger out!
"I was expecting this one..."
"Hi, Peter, Russell T. here!"
"I could have a catchphrase - 'Quelle Dommage!', like 'Quelle Dommage, Davros!'"
"And I could shoot lasers out of my eyes: Pwew, pwew, 'Quelle Dommage, Davros!'"
"The next message is 27 minutes long..."
"3 Daleks, we don't need that... great, let's cut it."
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