The Twin Dilemma

Season 22, Story 7/7, Serial 6S: 4 x 25 minutes episodes, 22nd to 30th March 1984, Writer: Anthony Stevens, Director: Peter Moffatt, Script Editor: Eric Saward, Producer: John Nathan-Turner

So after last week's story being one of the finest ever, are we all excited? Wonder what he'll wear... 

I will just mention again that I give the thumbs up to the blue prismatic effect on Colin's title sequence. 

2 twins playing bizarrely coloured space chess argue with their father about their mother being an idiot. Okay... 

Wait, what? Is this CBBC? Sets by Blue Peter? It's... colourful. I guess it can't get much more colourful. Can it? 

This can't be the same show... was the Caves of Androzani really so expensive that they only had crayons left? 

The twins are terrible actors.

Odd harpsichord-y riff for the 6th Doctor. 

How does Peri know he keeps a mirror in that pocket? Why does he keep a mirror in that pocket? Nice bit of business from Colin showing her "his" reflection.

Peri liked the 5th Doctor because he was "almost young"? Yeah, classic companions never fancied the Doctor... 

So far, so fine as far as the new Doctor's concerned; he's very different, but the change in him is rivetting. Not a million miles away from the suspicion at Troughton's first ever new Doctor, which is presumably what they were aiming for.

Then he has some sort of manic fit. I'm interested in him so far though, so it still could go either way.

That velvet jacket (or a better fitting one) would suit the new Doctor very well.

 

The Sylveste twins seem to live in a hairdressers, or possibly a milkshake bar.

 

They don't seem too bothered by "Edgeworth"; presumably elderly Professors materialise in their home often. 

He shakes their hands and they're hypnotised or drugged more likely. He spirits them away.

Oh God, my eyes! The coat! Won't somebody think of the children!
Peri: "You're not serious...!" 

That would have worked for a one scene joke, before he quickly moved on to the *real* costume.

The Doctor takes exception to Peri's fashion criticisms. She's not wrong, though. 

It's only a model. 

In Cyber-control some bird men await "Edgeworth"'s arrival.  

Who are these bird faced men? Who the hell is Mestor?

Peri's also changed outfits. Not as bad as Col's but still awful. We're still getting that horrible music too. 

He's gone nuts now, getting all sinister and aggressive over the origins of Peri's name.  

Now he thinks she's an alien spy so he tries to strangle her till she shows him his reflection.  

The strangling bit is too much. You'd still assume he'll stabilise soon but there needs to be credible examination of this & proper reconciliation for the two characters to go on.

The Twins Dad has come back from leaving them home alone and calls in the space filth.

The Doctor claims to have an "inbuilt resistance to any violence except in self-defence."   

 

Why's Peri not demanding to be let off the TARDIS, pressing buttons to make it happen, trying to tie up the Doctor? 

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris · I think that moment alienates fans from this story. The change of character is always dramatic but this was unparalleled! In regen stores there is normally a “decompression moment” where the story nods to the fans and says ‘don’t worry’ That is a key imbalance. At no point does Peri say she wants to go home. There is no exploration of her journey.

It's bad in itself, but I think they could have rescued it/him, if they'd dealt with it credibly. As it is they just ignore it.

"Thou craggy knob!" You said it. 

"Take care not to blow their hearts and minds!" Don't worry, Mestor, think you're safe on that score. 

The crashed ships from the fighters pursuing the twins has a lone survivor. Peri and the mad new Doctor to the rescue! 

Bek Hobbes @Greebobek · They should have their own hero music. Maybe the theme tune to Roobarb and Custard?

I like it; suits Colin's Doctor, bounding into action. The birds are definitely all laughing at him, too. 

"That's an order from the minister, and may my bones rot for obeying it!" May they indeed, may they indeed. 

The Doctor & Peri arguing about everything is not enjoyable, but I'm invested in them so I'm putting up with it. So when they're threatened with a gun at the end of part 1 by the space cop they've rescued, I'm still obviously rooting for them but that's the whole of his 1st episode without me really coming round to being on the side of the new Doctor. 

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris When you spell out the individual elements, it sounds ridiculous. But within the story it all makes a crazy kind of sense

It hangs together despite itself, yeah, but you would've thought those individual elements would've been obvious on paper, and therefore should never have got off the page. Certainly should never have got past the script editor.

Close-up of Colin for the cliffhanger - known as a Colin era trope but this surely started with Androzani part 3! 

The space cop threatens to shoot the Doctor for murder, but then has a lie down instead.

 

Into part 2 & the Doctor is much better & working with Peri much better & his Sherlockian deducting is fun. He's so much more Doctor-ish now, raring to go, to get stuck in to saving the day. 

Right now would be a good point to declare, right, I'm stable now, I'll get out of this awful get-up and we'd be back to business as usual, and sighing with relief. We can like this new Doctor now. 

Even the Longfellow Excelsior bit is fine, assuming he's not going to be reciting poetry *all* the time. 

But I like the swaggering confidence - there's a real blend of Pertwee & Baker, with a few spikier Hartnell moments. 

You have to look at it this way - the coat is actually part and parcel of this Doctor's heroic modus operandi he's protecting people from the 1st moment he steps in a room because all eyes are on *him* - his attitude is very much 'if you want to threaten them you have to come through me'. The coat is a challenge, a gauntlet thrown down: want to subjugate someone you think is weak & stupid? Get a load of this!

Admittedly this is probably far more thought than JNT et al put into it beyond the "totally tasteless" remit. And there's no denying that without this explanation in-show, the costume was a massive turn off for a lot of viewers. But imagine a scene like Troughton & Watling's "sleep in my mind" from Tomb of the Cybermen, where the 6th Doctor takes a quiet moment to apologise for the attempted strangulation, and to promise Peri that no-one will ever harm her again on his watch; that he'll always protect her, and everyone else he possibly can. Her death at the end of Mindwarp would be all the more crushing. For the latter half of Trial he would change his outfit to the blue version: the Necrosian colour of mourning. A hero's character arc through a costume that now has a poignant weight.

Patrick Byrne @mynamespat · I prefer the blue Big Finish coat but the technicolour dreamcoat is fine by me. 

Nick Mellish @nickmellish · The coat works well and suits his post-regenerative haze in this story. Not so much later on. 

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris I wonder if the story suffered from being the last of S21 rather than the first of S22? We had lots of time to dwell on this.

James Smith @thejimsmith · This is last 20th Century "series finale" where the audience wouldn't be worried about the series being cancelled. Scary. 

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton  Problems with #thetwindilemma stem from end of season ending on a sour note, THAT coat on Hugo and THAT coat on Sixie. 

As the equivalent of the modern PJs/Nightshirt it could've worked - if at the end he picks his proper outfit for season 22.

Now he's gone all cowardly, hiding behind Peri. This is the real wrong turn. 

Bek Hobbes @Greebobek ·  Never cruel or cowardly? Well, not any more!

He's the one who *really* broke the promise! 

The story and the character were going somewhere, ready to soar, but we've taken a backwards step & anchored ourselves in the rut of the unlikeable bits instead of building on them to love the redeemed version.

I'm calling this as 60% Saward's fault and 40% JNT's. Buck stops with JNT, he's taken his eye off the ball, but Saward is the one in control of the day to day script development and lets this slide.

I'm pulling it apart like "would've, should've, could've" but on its own terms it's not as bad as its reputation.

Jesus, now Hugo's had a wardrobe disaster in the TARDIS too. 

Oooh, a nasty wobble when Colin came away from that clearly-covered-in-foil console :-(

Looks like the new Doctor, just when he's settled down again, has been blown up. Peri puts in some rotten crying. 

He's alright, Peri's watch had just stopped.  

But the dialogue's gone rotten. 

"It's called compassion, Doctor; it's the difference that remains between us!" SAWARD!!! *shakes fist*

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris · that line irritated me. Not 50 minutes ago the Doctor had given her a cure to spectrox toximia. Now he has no compassion? 

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton · It's not Colin's fault. He was working with what he was told to do. Plan would have worked over a clear season

Okay *I think* he's settled down now, but (a) the coat's a problem and (b) the dialogue is awful.  

Has to be said, as I've neglected to do so thus far, Colin himself is the saving grace.  

On Jaconda, Mestor lays down the law. 

 

 The TARDIS arrives... 

  

...and the Doctor discovers that the planet has been lain waste by giant gastropods. "Nonsense," says Hugo.   

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton ·Things could have been so different had JNT & Saward left after Caves and new team brought in for a new era. 

Seems the cave Banksy's have been at it again... 

They cower from the gastropod's rotting veg trumps.

Hugo's not a bad character; could've stayed as a Harry Sullivan type. Conditional on ditching the tinfoil coat.

Azmael reveals Mestor's plan; to move planets' orbits, hence needing the twins' mathematical skills... 

The Doctor overhears Azmael "bullying children" and leaps into action without a second thought.

Apart from the fact that he's up to his strangler's ways again...

...this is more like the Doctor we want; more like the powerful force of nature the 'real' 6th Doctor will be.

The Doctor checks Mestor's figures and realises that the orbits cannot be balanced the way has been claimed. 

Gareth Kavanagh @Garethothevworp · We've all been there. It's a common mistake.
 
I'm hardening my eggs for re-entry as we speak.

FFS. Mestor can open the TARDIS door just like that & the birdmen have a nosey around. Anyone can get in the TARDIS in the 80s. 

The Doctor finds a bottle of something useful. Yoink!

The Doctor tries to find the answer in the hatchery and dissects a gastropod egg - or tries to. The laser cutter fails... 

 The egg shells have been engineered to withstand space travel & the heat of atmospheric re-entry. The plan unfolds... 

Azmael's on his last regeneration. Don't worry, you can just phone up the Time-Lords for a new cycle, don't you know?  

"I'm not having your sluggy eggs spread all over the universe, causing havoc!" Okay, I'm liking his no nonsense style now.

James Smith @thejimsmith · The Doctor's poor 1st throw seems to be a reference to his previous self's cricketing excellence & thus difference between them. 

It doesn't help that (a) Mestor is inaudible & shoddy looking (b) Mestor's throneroom looks crap and (c) I don't really give a monkey's about Jaconda.

Mestor gets in Azmael's head, but he's bitten off more than he can chew...

Azmael's given the Doctor the chance to destroy Mestor's body.  

  

Azmael traps Mestor in his dying body, and the slug is defeated. Should've just used salt.  

MestorTheMagnificent @JocondaControl · No! I live! I am Mestor The Magnificent!

James Smith @thejimsmith · Azmael starts to regenerate as he dies even though he has no lives left, as does the (Teselecta as) Doctor at Lake Silencio. 

 The Doctor is reunited with Peri, puts down the Chamberlain & leaves Hugo to sort out Jaconda.  

Peri chides the Doctor for being rude, but he assures her he is as stable as he's going to get. He's an alien, okay?

"I *am* the Doctor, whether you like it or not!" 

...and they smile at each other like it's all okay. Is it, though? Hmmm. 

  

So... worst story ever?

Patrick Byrne @mynamespat ·It's awful but not irredeemable.

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris ·  Not at all. It is disorganised, lacks polish and finese but there are flashes of some really nice moments in there. it suffers from comparison to Caves, from being the s21 Finale, and a new Doctor. Lots of external influences undermine it!

Paul Cooke @paulpcooke · I hated this at school,as it was EMBARRASSING for me,but I've mellowed but not to the point I'd want to watch it with an adult not-we that wasn't already a fan. A guilty pleasure. The actors are what make it. Seeing them struggle with the shoddy production values.

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton ·No. It's a three-way tie between Love & Monsters, Fear Her and Day of the Doctor.

Steve Powner @StevePowner · In some ways a disaster but Colin Baker is wonderful and works so hard to lift the story

Deta @Detaleader ·Love & Monsters or Mark of the Rani are worst.

James Smith @thejimsmith · Definitely bottom 5. A combination of the trying production circumstances & its ambition sometimes incline me to leniency. There are other stories that are nearly as bad & with fewer excuses. The novelisation, oddly, is quite superb.


To my mind, when you tot up the missteps it possibly *is* worst, but it's more rewatchable than some. 

TTFN! K.
Coming Soon... The Mind of Evil