The Tiger Who Came To Tea: Delta and the Bannermen

Davad@davadsteel This story is perfect to me. Plotting, characters, direction. Andrew Cartmel and his team were great for Doctor Who.

Lisa P & Andrew T@lisacartman The 'Action by HAVOC'-like opening of Part One was a real breath of fresh air on first transmission!

In a quarry on an alien planet, the genocide of the Chimeron by merciless intergalactic baddie, Gavrok & his military goons, the Bannermen, almost complete.

The last Chimeron Queen, Delta, rescues one of her loyal soldiers, Chima.

The Bannermen have firebombed all their ships, leaving Delta with only one option: steal one of theirs!

They make it to the ship but (somehow) Gavrok has got there first, and shoots Chima in the back.

Delta is at his mercy. "You are the last survivor, but not for long."

That's what he thinks. The dying Chima shoots Gavrok, and the leader of the Bannermen falls from the ship, allowing them to make their getaway.

Davad@davadsteel So much is packed into these opening scenes. Setting up the story and what's at stake. Chris Clough was brilliant.

You say that, but putting this blog together I've had an uncommonly tough time getting certain shots; it may be an editing problem but it actually seems to be with the direction - Clough is forever cutting away from scenes far too soon, like there's a reluctance to stay with certain characters he doesn't care about, and the biggest casualties of this are Ray... and the Doctor. I'll point out two as we go - but they're pretty unforgiveable, and I'll admit I was quite surprised when I noticed as otherwise I'd've agreed that Clough does a decent job.

Ian K@3rd_Doctor The general effects for Delta were quite a step up really. They seriously went to town on it! Always a fave.

The Doctor and Mel arrive at Tollport G715.

The kitty's empty so can't stump up the 5 credits they need.

They're welcomed by a tattifilarious Tollmaster.

"Tonight is your lucky night!" Was Corrie not on that week?

As the 10 billionth visitors, the Doctor & Mel have won a coach tour to Disneyland in 1959. Fair do's.

Davad@davadsteel I love how the Doctor thinks Doddy is mad but Melanie is so excited!

Mel persuades the Doctor to accept by pointing out that their last holiday "wasn't exactly ice hot." Nice little reference to last week's adventure...

On Earth, in "Wales, in England", two buffoonish CIA men in exile, Marvin Acme & the man from Del Monte, attempt to call the White House from a real Police Box.

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland WALES, ENGLAND! It's great gag...

Davad@davadsteel Stubby is so so good. A real pro.

Cape Canaveral has launched a rocket with an artificial satellite, and it's up to them to track it, so they've come to Wales, for... reasons.

Back at the tollport, the Doctor and Mel watch as a the rest of the Disneyland-bound passengers assemble. The Doctor points out that the purple blobby Navarinos might attract attention...

...but the tollport has a "transformation arch."

I guess if the Doctor went through that arch he might come out human himself. Seems like a good idea for a book. And then 13 years later a 2 part story.

The Doctor mentions Doddy's money problems. He "may have had one or two little problems in the past, but that's all sorted out now."

Davad@davadsteel I love how the Whoniverse is expanded in this story. Five galaxies. Mel knows who the Glass Eaters and Bannermen are.

When the Doctor discovers the tour operator is Nostalgia Trips, he won't get on the bus. He's perfectly happy to let Mel chance it, though. He'll follow in the TARDIS.

The tollmaster ushers the Navarinos aboard: "Is that your husband or have you brought the bulldog with you? Oh, kiss me quick! My goodness me, what a time we're going to have!"

Gavrok refuses to give up his pursuit of Delta, and makes a threatening space phonecall.

Davad@davadsteel "Copy her vector!"

Delta makes it to the tollport, and, observed by the Doctor...

...she hops on the bus to misdirect Gavrok.

The 50s songs used are great; Keff McCulloch's own incidental music? Borderline criminal.

Trying to tune into satellite FM, Hawk and Weismuller can only get Housewife's Choice...

I don't reckon Weismuller'd be keen on Rock'n'Roll; the age of him most likely he'd have been against it.

Davad@davadsteel Nah, he's cool. All his Yankees gear!!!

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland Got it wrong. Hawk is more likely to be the hideous racist...!

Hawk & Weissmuller's satellite is closer than they think - and too close to the Navarino space bus for comfort!

On board, Mel and Murray are blissfully unaware of the one of the other passengers shiftily eyes up Delta. Probably wondering "Who's that Girl"...

When the satellite clips the bus, Murray has to wrestle the wheel to stop them going into a tailspin.

Weismuller gets the news from the highest authority that the satellite is headed their way. Hawk spots an opportunity to end their exile: " If we don't screw up on this one, it could mean promotion. We could go home, Weismuller, home!"

"Home? The wife...!"

The Doctor lends a helping hand, or a helping anti-gravity spiral anyway, so Murray can pilot them to safety...

The bus touches down safely... at the Shangri-La holiday camp in Wales.

The Doctor is close behind.

They've come down with a bump, meaning they'll need to stop here while Murra and the Doctor work on repairs.

Mel thinks the Shangri-La looks a bit grim.

Davad@davadsteel "Don't go by appearances Mel!" Wisdom from the Doctor!

James VHS Gent ⚡@jamesgent76 He tells her that in Dragonfire too

Davad@davadsteel Mel is clearly very prejudiced!

They're greeted by Camp leader, Burton, who may or may not be Welsh. "Follow me, isn't it?"

Another starring role for JNT's dog, Pepsi, here?

As Burton shows them to the Chalets, the man in the shifty shades isn't the only one that clocks Delta's door number.

Delta's keen to be on her way; desperate to get to Disneyland.

Burton assigns camp mechanic Billy to help with the repairs. He's never seen an engine like a Hellstrom Fireball...

Mel's attempts to break the ice with Delta get off to a bad start. "Do you want to talk about it?" "No."

The Doctor emerges from the TARDIS with the Quarb crystal needed to fix the bus...

...and meets Rachel "Ray" Defwydd was a female mechanic, motorcycle enthusiast and companion-in-a-parallel-universe Rachel, who's been sweet on Billy since childhood. [Here's the first example of the hasty cutting away I mentioned earlier - oh, yeah, Ray, who gives a shit about her, have her walk up, take her helmet off, we're about to see her face properly, but no, cut away.]

Ray's always prepared to handle a massive tool.

Murray knackers the crystal whilst trying to install it, but luckily the Doctor can accelerate growth in the TARDIS’ thermo-booster and grow the cracked crystal in 24 hours.

As they've got even more time to kill than first expected, Ray invites them to the evening's dance. It's a "getting to know you dance". Oh, right, it's one of *those* holiday camps...

If you were wondering quite how jumpy Delta is, on hearing the dinner gong she pulls a gun on Mel.

Mel assures Delta she can be trusted, and goes out for a bite to eat.

Time for Delta to check on her mystery bag, which seems to contain something like a cross between a Sontaran scouts ship and a glam Easter Egg.

Gavrok & the Bunnymen interrogate Doddy, but he's telling them Diddly squat...

...so they shoot him in the back.

Davad@davadsteel Poor Doddy.

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland They killed Kenny! Those bastards...

Gavrok commands a network of informants throughout the galaxy, apparently, and orders them onto Delta's the case.

Here's example two of an abysmal underselling from the director; in the camp's dinner hall, a small boy hands the Doctor an apple, and Sylv instinctively shakes it and listens to it. What does the director do? Coasts past in embarassment, trying to ignore the Doctor being Doctor-ish. Unforgiveable.

Davad@davadsteel I LOVE how he listens to the apple!!!! It's very subtle. Speaks volumes. No need for prat falls or twirling.

The Doctor tells Mel: "If she's who I think she is, then she's in danger." So far this new Doctor isn't quite panning out as foolish as he first appeared; he always seems to know more than he's letting on...

Billy seems about to ask Delta to the dance. She leaves but not before giving him a smile of encouragement. Oh dear, poor Ray.

The Doctor admires Billy's amps, made from old parts from the war.

All this 50s nostalgia was big in the 80s; Back to the Future, Superman III, Hi-De-Hi... Superman III the biggest clue there - school reunions etc.; obviously a generational thing.

Davad@davadsteel Quantum Leap started soon after too...

When Billy takes to the mic, Ray can't get him to notice her; the Doctor suggests showing some front.

The 50s songs used are great; Keff McCulloch's own incidental music? Borderline criminal.

When Billy introduces "a romantic number from across the pond, for a very special lady in the audience", his gaze goes past Ray... to Delta.

Davad@davadsteel Sylv is great. So sensitive to how Ray would be feeling. No need for stupid bloody cue cards. Ray's story is set up well. Also great stuff for the Doctor. Let's Sylv play his awkward empathy.

Hawk and Weismuller try to find a way to keep warm in their tent.

As Murray confesses he may have overdone the Hula-Hoops, Delta leaves the dance early.

For once in his terrible career, Keff packs away the shite keyboards and gives us a bit of Shadows-esque guitar.

The Doctor follows, but instead of Delta, he finds Ray, in tears that her beloved Billy has eyes for another.

"There's many a slap twixt a cup and a lap, Ray."

Keff's soon up to his old tricks as Delta's Sontaran ship hatches.

Turns out Delta's egg has hatched a baby version of one of those green soldier men. No denying who the daddy is.

Si Hodges@SiHodges79 the baby's mouth looks like the rear view of a green cat...

The Doctor's in trouble too; turns out the furtive stranger from the bus is one of Gavrok's informants - a hitman from the Flying Pickets.

Gavrok promises the Flying Pickets will get their reward for catching the Doctor peeing over a shelf...

This is where the Doctor can no longer contain himself...

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland Sneezing with your chap out. Never good.

Lisa P & Andrew T@lisacartman This was passed off as a mistake, but the sentence containing the words 'hard', 'stiffened' & 'weapon' is suspicious...

Paul Butler@PaulRButler There's one of the Tom Baker books, I forget which one, in which K9 extends his "scissors".

The Flying Picket knows of the Doctor and can claim even more reward because it's him...

Davad@davadsteel "You're the traveller in time they call The Doctor..." More universe expanding.

The Pickets don't just kill for money, they kill for... only you!

Davad@davadsteel Storywise this is so much better than what we get served nowadays IMHO.

PART TWO

Never a man of his word, Gavrok explodes the Flying Picket. He knows where Delta is, he doesn't need to pay royalties to the Pickets.

All that's left are his (smoking) blue suede shoes. He's an ex-Picket, pining for Only You.

...but while they're unconscious, the Doctor and Ray seem to be okay. For now...

Billy's brought a bunch of flowers for Delta. Give him his due, he's willing to stay and hear Delta out.

Bet Mel feels a bit rude now, having screamed the place down as Delta's baby was born.

Davad@davadsteel It's her prejudice again. Big Finish should do a story about it.

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland Most people scream during childbirth. I know I did.

Goronwy; Time-Lord - yay or nay?

Davad@davadsteel The Beekeeper!

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland Mysterious other. Who knows, he may even be the Doctor himself. Just throwing it out there...

He does look ever so slightly like Tom in The Day of the Doctor.

Delta's baby seems to be maturing far more rapidly than human babies. By morning she already looks a few months old.

Starting to think her dad is either that chap that makes sweetcorn, or, judging by her outfit, Peter Pan.

Davad@davadsteel Billy and Delta are about as wooden as each other. Perfect match.

Billy shows Delta his chopper. Fnur fnur. He calls his chopper Vincent. Snort. He also can't act for toffee.

The Doctor & Ray wake up after spending the night in the laundry room together. Bow chicka wow wow...

Hi-de-hi, campers, time to rise and shine!

The Doctor is alarmed to find Delta and Billy AWOL and sets Mel to organising an evacuation, no matter how "busy" people might be in their chalets.

When Billy realizes Delta Jr.'s becoming a bit of a heffalump, the Chimeron queen admits the child will double her weight in the next couple of hours.

The Doctor breaks it to Burton that the Shangri-La holiday came faces alien invasion at the hands of Delta and the Bannermen.

Davad@davadsteel "you are not the Happy Hearts Holiday Club from Bolton?"

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland It's great stuff isn't it?

Davad@davadsteel It really is. Shame Kohll didn't do another.

The pace on it's great - hard to keep up!

Davad@davadsteel It's rattling along but crucially still plenty of room for character stuff. Perfection.

Wonder if Murray's edition of the Eagle is the same one that appeared on the cabin wall in Terror of the Vervoids?

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland Love that Murray is reading The Eagle. Nice detail.

Davad@davadsteel Great how the Doctor gets Burton to trust him. No need to show us inside the ship, Burton's reaction sells it.

Murray begins the evacuation of the Navarinos, but they'll need to see how the crystal's doing.

In a heartenig display of loyalty, the Hi-De-Hi crew vote with their feet to stay put and face the music with "Major" Burton.

Davad@davadsteel I think Delta has clocked that Billy would make good breeding stock. She's giving him the eye.

Billy asks about Delta Jr.'s singing; it's partly a song and partly a defence mechanism. She might need it.

The Doctor and Ray race to find Delta and Billy before the Bannermen arrive.

It's going to be a close call with the crystal.

Gavrok may regret ionising the ex-Picket; the Bannermen make it to Wales, but will have to track Delta down the old fashioned way.

Not only have Hawk & Weismuller not seen Delta, they haven't seen a squirrel!

The crystal's just about cooked, so Mel & Murray are ready to Break Bad. I mean, get the bus started.

As the Doctor & Ray continue their frantic search, Delta outlines her plan get the hatchling safely to her Brood planet, where she can 'take her case to judgement.' Tantalising glimpses of a more complex political background that never really comes into focus.

The Doctor and Ray cock block Billy with the news of Gavrok's imminent arrival.

Davad@davadsteel Is this the first cock block in Who since "The Green Death"?! "Cock Blocks in Dr Who" could've been a DVD bonus feature couldn't it.

Hawk & Weissmuller witness the Kefftastic entrance of Gavrok & the Bunnymen.

When the CIA men don't know Delta's whereabouts, Gavrok's well balanced response is to blow up their radio. When Hawk protests that it was the property of Uncle Sam, Gavrok demands the personification of US government show up. Good luck with that.

Gavrok torches their ~~love nest~~ tent and assigns a couple of Bunnymen to guard them while he continues the hunt for Delta.

Mel sees Murray and the Navarinos safely away...

...or so she thinks: Gavrok arrives and obliterates the bus and everyone on it.

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland The massacre of the tourists is shocking, proving the Bannermen are not comedy villians but genocidal terrorists.

Ian K@3rd_Doctor I recall on original TX being really shocked that all on bus were killed. Brave. Nowadays Moffat would bring them all back.

Gavrok confronts Mel, who tries to protect Delta by claiming she's dead...

Davad@davadsteel It's a shame Bonnie gets so little to do. Touch of the Turloughs.

...just as the Doctor, Ray, Billy and... er, Delta arrive. Then leave again.

Worst motorcycle gang ever.

Burton convinces Gavrok that Mel's more useful alive.

Tonally this is all over the place & the production values are rock bottom as per for season 24, but the McCoy era at last starts to deliver on those minute glimmers of inventiveness promised in the otherwise largely dreadful Paradise Towers - a story that itself had good ideas on paper.

It definitely has a joy about it that is infectious, and Sylv is much more settled & confident. It does strike me as very sympathetic to RTD's version. You could easily imagine this in series 2 or 4.

The Doctor leaves Delta in the care of old Goronwy...

Really not sure why people assume Goronwy is a Time-Lord? Just because he takes everything in his stride? They were at school together, the Doctor, the Master, the Monk, the Rani and the... er, Beekeeper. Maybe Azmael was from that older generation like Omega & Morbius. Ah yes, the Master, the Rani, the Monk, the Beekeeper and the Can of Worms.

...then rides into battle with Gavrok under a white flag, which to his outrage, the intergalactic baddie shoots.

Davad@davadsteel This confrontation with Gavrok is one of Sylv's defining moments. Fearless and moral. My hero.

Gavrok gnaws a hunk of raw meat; the Doctor's bitten off more than he can chew...

Davad@davadsteel Again. Hilarious but tense as.

With his last line there, it's a similar 'almost-4th wall-style' cliffhanger to part 3 of Remembrance of the Daleks.

Davad@davadsteel Yeah, and like here the last shot is missing in the reprise.

PART THREE

Rubbish cliffhanger resolution (a hallmark of the era, IMO) as despite no real need to abide by the white flag, Gavrok does in fact let them just ride away.

Gavrok does fire a flare into the sky, though, signalling the pair guarding the CIA men to fix them with together at the neck with an explosive metal bar. For... reasons.

It's mere moments, though, till Ray arrives to free them from the Bunnymen neck brace with an Allen key from her bag...

Doo-do-do-doo, doo-do-do-doo, duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh. Oh, do sod off, Keff.

The former guards fire a tracker dart at Billy’s bike as the Doctor drives it past.

Goronwy explains to Billy that honey is a superfood that can change a worker bee into a queen...

John Mark Frankland@JMFrankland The whole Melittology motif is nicely done too. Everything fits together so nicely.

Delta Jr. is stil aging terribly; Surely Gavrok can just bide his time and then walk after her when she's an old biddy in about half an hour.

Billy notices about her song "Sometimes that sounds good, other times it's horrible."
Delta tells him "One frequency is an attack warning, and the other is musical. Soon she'll be able to control both."
Might come in handy, that.

Billy half-inches some of the Chimeron Royal Jelly as Ray and the CIA men return.

The Doctor is on his way, too, blissfully unaware he's being tracked. Or is he...?

Gavrok booby traps the TARDIS.

Once more we see the nouse of the new Doctor, as he ditches the tracker. Is this the Judas goat that his former incarnation mentioned to Mel in Terror of the Vervoids?

This is the all-location one to Dragonfire's studio story, isn't it? Like Happiness Patrol/Silver Nemesis & Ghostlight/Survival.

James VHS Gent ⚡@jamesgent76 Pretty canny way to divvy up the budget.

Definitely!

A Bunnymen patrol has located Delta and the hatchling...

...but another song-induced growth spurt from Delta Jr...

...allows the Chimeron Queen to gun down one Bunnyman and send the other packing.

It's time for the gang to move out, but not before the Doctor leaves a trail with a sting in the tail.

Gavrok bothers some goats.

The surviving scout directs them to Goronwy's house...

...but of course our heroes are already speeding back to Shangri-La.

There, the Doctor is wise to Gavrok's booby trap...

...even if Hawk isn't, and gets his fingers burned, quite literally.

Gavrok can't stand that lollipop song and shoots yet another radio but that just allows Keff to kick off again.

You didn't know when you were well off, mate.

The Bunnymen fail in their quest for a taste of honey. I don't bee-lieve it!

Davad@davadsteel Much better than the killer insects from "Time and the Rani". 🐝

Delta catches Billy guzzling her jelly and warns him it might kill him, but he wants to bee like her.

The Doctor marks the safe distance from the TARDIS while Hawk's sore hand is patched up.

Having been given the runaround (Sue) and stung by Goronwy's bees, the Bunnymen make it to the camp.

Burton is all geared up for the kickoff...

...so Billy and the Doctor just need to get the camp amped up for Delta Jr.'s first gig against the Bunnymen.

They're not quite ready in time, though, and Gavrok has the Bunnymen send the speakers for... er, a Burton.

Gavrok presses home his attack, but Billy and the Doctor scramble to safety.

Delta Jr. sings through the camps speakers to knock the Bunnymen unconscious. Why didn't they get Mel to do that? Much higher pitched!

Davad@davadsteel All seeded throughout. No need for "deus ex machina".

Gavrok staggers back and is killed by his own booby trap!

The Doctor entrusts tying up the captive Bannermen to Weismuller, who treats them to his speciality: "A running noose combined with a dog shank!"

Burton can take the cotton wool out of his ears now. Hurrah!

"Billy's just changing..." That's as maybe, but his acting's no better.

A guitar-wielding Doctor's worried about a Hybrid: "I know without a male the race will be wiped out, but I haven't seen many examples of species crossing. There could be the most dreadful mutation. I can't condone this foolishness, but then, love has never been known for its rationality."

Davad@davadsteel Sylv and a guitar! And more perfection!

As Goronwy explains to Hawk how a whole new hive can grow around a new queen, Weismuller herds the Bunnymen aboard the spaceship.

As Billy takes his place with Delta, the Doctor quietly distracts Ray with some motorbike chatter.

"I'll always think of you here at Shangri-La, Ray."

Bit of a put-down. Like she'll never amount to anything else. At least she gets to keep the Vincent.

Davad@davadsteel Poor Ray! I'm tearing up!!!

As Delta, Billy & Delta Jr. head off into the sunset...

...the Doctor removes the spent booby trap from the TARDIS roof, and is delighted to receive a jar of Goronwy's honey as a souvenir. Well, not his personal honey, you understand.