2017 at the Pictures!

Okey dokey, much like others round these parts I've been through and had a think about how I'd rank all the new films I've seen this year. I've rated purely on entertainment value i.e. what in a 1 v 1 I'd rather watch again, rather than "worthiness". So without further ado...

50. The Great Wall
Miscast CGI monstrosity. Avoid.

49. Live By Night
Dull, dull, dull. Argo to this? How?

48. Silence
Torturous to endure as well as in content.

47. Alien: Covenant
So disappointing. Has its' moments but no.

46. Sing!
Pleasant enough CG animation.

45. The Hitman's Bodyguard
Watch for Reynolds & Jackson, but below par.

44. Lost City of Z
Sumptuously made, but a trek.

43. Viceroy's House
A passage to Downton

42. The Snowman
So so murder mystery, Fassbender worth a watch

41. Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Passable sequel that doubles down on all the faults of its predecessor.

40. Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge 
A bit overlong but pleasantly more in the spirit of the original. Depp does Depp.

39. Murder on the Orient Express
Fantastic looking and well cast retread of a sadly too familiar story, but Branagh a passable Poirot with a 3 tier 'tache that has to be seen to be believed.

38. T2: Trainspotting
More than justifies itself, touching & savage re: nostalgia.

37. American Made
Cruise makes this work, but the 70s/80s drug smuggling thing is now DONE.

36. Kong: Skull Island
better than expected monster movie, helped by a great cast.

35. Fences
Oscar worthy performances. Stagey but charismaaaaaa in spades.

34. Goodbye Christopher Robin
A 'hidden gem', better than it had a right to be. Likely to be forgotten, but touching.

33. The Death of Stalin
Not up to Thick of It par, but eye-wateringly savage.

32. Their Finest
Jaunty & fresh considering the safe Britflick territory.

31. Valerian & the City of a Thousand Planets
unfairly maligned probably due to de Haan, but enjoyed Besson's view of the future, & honestly worth your time for the Space Oddity opening & a genuinely affecting cameo from Rihanna, who works a minor miracle with a nothing part.

30. Lion
Superbly acted and crafted with a powerful ending, sags in the 3rd quarter a bit.

29. The Ritual
Nice creepy 'lost weekend' British horror with a strong cast.

28. Hacksaw Ridge
Hmm, Gibson. Undeniably well made though, & perhaps a career best from Andrew Garfield.

27. Split
Shyamalan back on form thanks to a powerhouse performance from McAvoy

26. The Sense of an Ending - an intricate well crafted jewel, with Jim Broadbent excellent as ever

25. Manchester By the Sea
Powerful & affecting, but grim; needs to be seen - once.

24. Moonlight
Ponderous at times, but a superb & worthy Oscar winner that cleverly uses its "three ages", and (albeit at times frustratingly) uses the unspoken pauses and hesitations to really pack its best punches.

23. Beauty and the Beast
Surprisingly excellent live action remake.

22. Lego Batman
Great fun; almost as funny as it thinks it is.

21. A Monster Calls
A modern and dark fairytale that's a cut above.

20. Detroit
Nerve shredding and timely. Poulter & Boyega immense.

19. Justice League
fun if spectacularly flawed superhero team up, far better than reported.

18. Life
The best "Alien" film for donkey's ages, with a killer ending.

17. La La Land
Joyous, with tunes that burrow into your brain, but done to death in every advert ever now. 

16. Guardians of the Galaxy vol.2
Superb on character, spectacle & soundtrack, but very thin on story if examined too closely.

15. War for the Planet of the Apes
Excellent closing chapter after an iffy middle film. Andy Serkis at the height of his mo-cap powers.

14. Spider-Man: Homecoming
Best Spidey outing since Raimi's Spider-Man 2, Holland a joy in the lead role, Keaton a fine villain. All a bit small scale, but pleasing high-school hi-jinks that brings the wallcrawler "home" to the MCU.

13. Logan
a Western not a superhero movie. Only a disappointing villain detracts from Jackman & Stewart's best performances in the X series. Dafne Keen great.

12. Atomic Blonde
Slick, stylish action thriller set in 80s Cold War Berlin. No need for a female Bond, it's this.

11. Jackie
Astounding performance from Portman in a film that keeps you on the edge of your seat with some powerful emptiness and silence.

10. Dunkirk - Possibly Nolan's best work; the 3 time frames expertly interwoven and beautifully shot. Avoids the obvious, shreds nerves.

09. Paddington 2
Charming, lovely, funny, and the perfect antidote to the utter trainwreck of 2017. We could all do with taking a page out of Aunt Lucy's book, frankly.

08. It
Creepy, chilling and gripping from start to finish with standout performances & effects.

07. Baby Driver
Peak Edgar Wright, in the best way. Don't let Spacey win, let everyone else involved with this super cool flick win by taking it for a spin.

06. Wonder Woman
Evokes the heroic spirit of Superman '78 in considerable style, with heart and integrity.

05. Free Fire
Preposterously fun action comedy from a cast firing on all cylinders.

04. Get Out
The cleverest psychological horror film for an absolute age boasts several wrongfooting twists & a superb lead turn from Daniel Kaluuya.

03. Thor: Ragnarok
Someone at Marvel realized Hemsworth can do comedy & had the brainwave to let Taika Waititi out-Guardians GotG. With the Hulk. And PEAK Goldblum. And badass Tessa Thompson. And Cate bleedin' Blanchett as a top villain. Hilarious & a new high for Marvel.

02. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Burns down all your expectations and gives old characters and new daring, edge of your seat, unpredictability. In fact the only predictable thing was the fanboy pants-wetting that followed, which proved it did its' job and then some.

01. Blade Runner: 2049
An outstanding achievement in every department. Not perfect by any means but a sequel that more than earns its place by pushing the themes of the original, and putting an existential chasm at the heart of a futuristic detective action thriller.