Wednesday 9 January 2019

Planet of the Spiders

Season 11, Story 5/5, Serial ZZZ, 6 x 25 min episodes, 4th May to 8th June 1974, Writer: Robert Sloman, Director: Barry Letts, Script Editor: Terrance Dicks, Producer: Barry Letts.

Love the way the s11 credits start off with those thin slots that make it look more like the s18-23 credits! 

MAW Holmes @MAW_H ·  Although, it always seems as if, the minute they do new titles, a new Doctor, he's a-comin'...

The full length shot is pretty unique for Who, a bit reminiscent of Bond's gun barrel sequence, I think.
James Cooray Smith✔@thejimsmith My favourite title sequence.

Another interesting bit here that's lost in the Tom version.

Ah, the diamond logo!


PaART ONE (4th May 1974)

At a secluded countryside retreat in a Monastery, disgraced ex-UNIT Captain Mike Yates bothers some cows, who moo their disapproval that he's let his hair get out of control since his dishonourable discharge.

Elsewhere, we join two incongruous punters at the cabaret - it's Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, head of the British section of UNIT, and, elegant as always, in ruffled shirt and velvet jacket, the third incarnation of that mysterious traveller in space and time, the Doctor.

Have they really gone on a works night out to see this dire "comedian" with his Archimedes Eureka/Streaker material? Surely not.

Weird seeing Pertwee in the red jacket at the start of this one, I so strongly associate his blue outfit with this story.

The Doctor perks up when he thinks the act he's come to see is up next, but to his disappointment, and the Brig's (Turkish) delight, it's belly dancer Sheherazadi!

Mike enters the Monastery and finding the place even more sparsely populated than he expected, wanders along a corridor. Before long he finds himself at the door to the basement.

Quietly creeping down the stairs he sees a group of men sat around a Mandala, intensely chanting, and accompanied by a regular clash of cymbals. Nice backbeat, but I'm guessing this is one of George's. 

As the chanting intensifies, Mike is astounded to see a strange blue light begin to glow at the centre of the Mandala.

Spooked, he backs off, and panics when he becomes entangled in a spider's web, and legs it. 

Back at the cabaret, the Brig enjoyed the dancing girl's muscular control so much, he's having visions of Benton doing the same. Nurse, the mind bleach!

Next on stage is the act the Doctor's brought them to see: "Mind reader extraordinaire, Professor Herbert Clegg!"


Mike's hasty departure didn't go unnoticed. At the sound of screeching tyres, the leader of the chanters, Lupton, notes that "there's only one car here. The car belonging to our new friend, Mr. Yates."

The next day, the Doctor has Professor Clegg round to tea.
 CharlesWynfordLodge@2hrTV Loved Cyril Shaps.

James Cooray Smith✔@thejimsmith Professor Clegg seems like a parody of Dr. Who. They even dress alike.

Clegg thinks he's been booked for a regimental dinner or some such. The Doctor explains that he's asked the Professor here to aid in his studies of ESP.

Love the Brig Profsplaining ESP.



"That's Extra-Sensory Perception, you know!" 

"Ah, yes, as a matter of actual fact, I did know that."

50dw50 @50dw50 ·  he is a bit of a twit in this one.

MAW Holmes @MAW_H ·  Maybe, like in some takes on the Holmes and Watson dynamic, he's actually the CLEVER one...? 

Clegg says he's a not really psychic at all, he's just a big faker.

But he's faking being a faker. He's actually a REAL psychic, and the Doctor's rumbled him.


The Professor made a telling error in his act the night before, when he an answer before his assistant had uttered a word. 

The Professor is troubled, admitting "It's happening more and more... I seem to be developing this, this power!" 

The Professor worries it may cost him his sanity to continue tapping into those powers, but he agrees to give them a demonstration.

Clegg can move tea trays with the power of his mind. A career at Downton awaits. 

"I can't keep it up!" Cheeky!

The Doctor tells Clegg that his abilities lie dormant in everyone, and his research is aimed at discovering what makes people like him different.

Clegg agrees to take part in the Doctor's experiments.

Back at the Monastery, Lupton is griping about the Abbot's decision to allow a visitor to disturb the men's peace: "Not only a journalist but a WOMAN journalist!" No prizes for guessing who that is. (Clue: Not Lois Lane).

MAW Holmes @MAW_H · "You have a WOMAN'S notepad... I'll bet that notepad has never stopped a dinghy from sinking in a raging sea..."

The monk, Cho-Je tells him that they cannot shut out the world entirely, and though (as Lupton counters) that is what the monks used to do in Tibet, "All things pass away, as you will learn in your meditation. This world of samsara, the world of appearance, is the world of change."

Lupton pleads for solitude but Cho-Je tells him it's too late, Mike Yates has gone to collect her from the train station. 

Sure enough, Mike is picking up Sarah Jane Smith from Stratfield Mortimer train station.

He remains tight-lipped when she asks what it's all about, though.

At the monastery, Lupton and his co-chanter, Barnes, disagree about packing in their chanting for a while. Barnes urges Lupton to continue, citing the blue light as evidence they're on the verge of a breakthrough.

They're interrupted by the arrival of the Monastery handyman, Tommy. Tommy has learning difficulties but the "enlightened" meditation students have no time for him. 

Tommy only wants to show them a pretty flower he's found, but Barnes angrily shoves him aside, causing him to fall, and the flower to be crushed.

Barry Letts and his partner in crime Terrance Dicks clearly have an anti-dandelion agenda, which rears its ugly head in the very next story, written by none other than uncle Terry himself.

Sarah presses Mike to explain why he's asked her here, so he starts by telling her that after getting the boot from UNIT he went in search of inner peace and latched onto the meditation studies at the Monastery.

Lupton and the wheelies have a good old chant...

Mike tells Sarah that he thinks the group at the monastery are in touch with some mysterious power, definitely up UNIT's street, but he doesn't feel he can go to the Brig seeing as how the last time they met he pulled a gun on him.

The chanters intensify their efforts...

...then, just as Sarah agrees to approach the Brig on Mike's behalf, a phantom tractor (of doooooom!) lurches in front of them, causing Mike to swerve.

Peter Serafinowicz @serafinowicz · Angry tractor pic.twitter.com/GIqGPXMO0s

Mike's no stranger to an emergency stop from his UNIT days, though, and they come to no harm. When they look back at the road behind them, though, the tractor has vanished. Sarah turns to Mike. "I'm convinced."

The Doctor hooks Clegg up to an ECG to see what happens to his brainwaves when he makes use of his abilities, and asks the Brigadier for something he can use for a test.

The Brig volunteers his watch. What could possibly go wrong?

The Doctor records his brainwaves as the "Professor" picks up the vibe.

"This watch was given to you eleven years ago. You received it in a hotel. A hotel by the sea. Brighton, was it? From a young lady called Doris. She said it was to mark her gratitude to you..."

The Brig getting shirty about his lost weekend in Brighton implies racy stuff for a Saturday tea time kids show. 

This'll be a bigger test: the Doctor's sonic screwdriver.

Clegg can see old episodes on the Image Reproduction Integrating System (IRIS) machine, a sort of psychic scanner. 

Any chance they can hook a recorder up and do 64 - 69?

Sarah interviews Cho-Je but in the main just gets meaningless platitudes; "expect the unexpected" and the like.

However, "The old man must die and the new man will discover to his inexpressible joy that he has never existed." rings a bell for some reason. Not with Sarah, though: "Well, good luck, mate."


Sarah suggests that "ferreting about in your subconscious" could unleash "all sorts of nasties" which Cho-Je acknowledges, but says that the Monks' way uses those powers to help people. 

Mike obviously has Lupton and the chanters in mind when he asks if those powers could be mis-used. Cho-Je says that if the powers were twisted "by evil men in their ignorance and craving, it could indeed be most dangerous", but he doesn't believe that could happen here.

At UNIT HQ, Clegg apologizes for visualizing "fantasies" but the Brigadier and the Doctor assure him he's doing very well.

Benton's "Doing a bit of hairdressing on the side?" is probably the character's single best line ever.  Closely followed by "it's pretty obvious, isn't it?" in The Three Doctors and "You better go on with it" in Invasion of the Dinosaurs.

At least the Brig appreciated it.

Benton's brought the post, in particular a package that's arrived from South America, addressed to the Doctor or Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart or Captain Yates or Sergeant Benton. Probably a safe guess it's from Jo.

The Doctor has the idea of getting Clegg to identify the package before it's opened.

Clegg correctly identifies that the post contains the blue crystal the Doctor "borrowed" from Metebelis III

Mike shows Sarah around the Monastery and the two look in on the meditation. 

There, a group are using a recorded chant to aid their concentration. It's a far cry from Lupton's lot and their basement sessions.

Mike and Sarah bump into Lupton, who makes some subtle threats whilst inviting them for tea. "You were lucky to escape. The roads round here can be very dangerous. Very dangerous indeed." 

Mike says they can't stay and frog marches Sarah out.

Mike bundles Sarah into the car, and they take off, much to Lupton's satisfaction.

But once they've got a fair distance down the road, Mike reveals that it's all a ruse; now they'll head back on foot. Sarah approves.

Jo's had to send the crystal back from the Amazon as the people they're with believe it gives off bad vibes. 

The "letter" is really nicely written - it *sounds* exactly like Jo. Top work from Barry and Terrance there, bravo.

As the UNIT lads are touched by the well wishes from Jo, they don't notice that Clegg has been drawn to the blue crystal once again...

Sarah and Mike sneak back into the Monastery, intruder window.

They're discovered by Tommy, so Sarah buys his silence with her brooch, questionably taking advantage of his fascination for pretty trinkets.

With Tommy distracted, the pair surreptitiously open the door to the basement and begin to look around.

Like Mike before her, Sarah falls foul of a particularly thick spider's web haunting the basement rafters. 

She can't cry out, though, as Lupton and the chanters file down, forcing her and Mike into hiding behind some boxes. 

At UNIT HQ, the blue crystal seems to be unleashing previously unsuspected powers in Clegg.

The whole room begins to shake in a maelstrom of swirling wind...

...and the Doctor has to force his way through the storm to try to pry the crystal from Clegg's grip.

Is the storm in UNIT HQ connected to events at the Monastery? The crystal vibrations seem to increase with every chant from Lupton's circle.

As the Doctor tears the crystal from the psychic's grip, Clegg lets out a scream, and slumps in the chair.

The Brigadier is about to call the new Medical Officer, but the Doctor tells him to save it for the next story: Clegg is already dead.

50dw50 @50dw50 ·   the doctor causes the man's death, it would have been better if they had used that as the crime he had to atone for later

In the Monastery, it seems the storm in UNIT HQ is not all the crystal has unleashed, as the chanters intensify their efforts...

...and are rewarded with the materialization of a giant spider!

Urgh, a whacking great spider. Quick, get a big slipper and splat it! Suddenly the flush-'em-away plan from Logopolis makes more sense. Right plan, wrong regeneration.

PART TWO (11th May 1974)


Sarah and Mike watch in horror as the chanters scatter in panic, only for the giant spider to project a bolt of lightning-like energy that strikes one of them down.

Lupton pompously commands the spider to go, but the creature disdainfully ignores him, and instead responds in a haughty voice that it has come to give him the power he seeks.

Now it's the spider giving the orders, as it tells him to turn around. As he does, the monstrous arachnid leaps up, landing on his back...

 ...only to fade away as it merges with him.

Back at UNIT HQ, the police have been to take Clegg's body away, leaving the Doctor to speculate as to what actually killed him.

It dawns on him that his IRIS machine might have recorded Clegg's last thoughts. 

Seems like Clegg was terrified to death by a head full of monstrous giant spiders!

In the Monastery basement, Lupton orders his cronies upstairs. Barnes hangs back but Lupton assures him he's never felt better.

The Doctor decides that the only thing for it is to look into the crystal himself.

Benton volunteers to take that bullet. "Wouldn't it be best for me to have a go first? I mean, I'm expendable and you're not!" but the Doctor turns him down: "I'm already responsible for the death of one man, Sergeant. Thanks just the same."

Mike helps Sarah out of the window to get the word to UNIT, but stays behind himself to alert the Abbot to what's going on in his basement.

Nearby Barnes frets that the Spider might have been one of the Tibetan demons that Cho-je warned them about.

Lupton dismisses this, and hears the Spiders voice in his mind, telling him to send Barnes away.

The Spider feels the connection to the Crystal and through their shared mind, Lupton can see it, and the man staring back through it - the Doctor!

The Brigadier thinks the Doctor's off in one of his comas again, and phones for the new M.O. - "Oh, is that you, Sullivan? Get over to the lab straight away!"

Pertwee in a coma, I know, I know, it's serious...

50dw50 @50dw50 · as serious as the 149 other comas of the Pertwee era  

Luckily, though, the smell of Benton's coffee brings him around, so Harry's debut is once again kicked into the long grass.

The Doctor tells the Brigadier that he didn't see any spiders at all. "When I was a young man, there was an old hermit who lived half way up a mountain just behind our house. I spent some of the finest hours of my life with that old man. And it was from him I first learnt how to look into my mind. When I looked into that crystal, all I could see was the face of my old teacher."

When Mike tries to pay the Abbot a late night call, Tommy's flirting technique is a bit direct. "Time for bed, Yates!"

Remembering Tommy's appreciation of all things shiny, Yates distracts him with a medallion.

I understand the criticism of Tommy's portrayal but it's clear the writers' sympathy is with him and it's a very touching performance that immediately embeds itself in the viewer's heart so I think it's more palatable than things like Talons' portrayal of race.

Yates' machinations are for nothing, though, as he runs straight into Lupton, whose passive aggressiveness is enough to ward him off for now.

The next day, the Doctor is studying the crystal when Sarah makes it to the UNIT lab. 

"Yes, of course, I'm listening, Sarah..." he says, clearly not listening. 

As Sarah tells him of her escape through the window and Tommy, the Doctor is clearly miles away. "The crystal lattice is equally balanced from right to left. It's remarkable."

When she describes the chanters summoning a giant spider, though, he's suddenly interested. "Tell me the whole story, right from the beginning!" 

"Isn't that padding?"
"Shhhhh." 

In the UNIT car park outside, a mechanic is working on the Doctor's futuristic car (the Whomobile!) when he spots Lupton making his towards the lab, and challenges him.

Pat Gorman gets some lines! Yay Pat! At last, and well deserved!

When Lupton asks where the Doctor will be, the mechanic tells him he'll be in his lab, but he'll need to see his pass first.

Of course, Lupton doesn't have one, and the mechanic soon finds out the hard way how Lupton got past the guard at the main gate, as Lupton uses his shocking Spider powers to incapacitate him.

The Doctor muses that the Spiders Clegg saw in the crystal weren't on Metebelis 3 when he half-inched it.

Lupton makes his way to the lab, zapping Benton when he impedes his progress.

Sarah quite sensibly suggests that the Spiders could be from an earlier time period than the one in which the Doctor nicked the crystal. "Or a later one," he responds.
 

Lupton has reached the lab, and clocks the crystal. The voice of the Spider rings in his ears, telling him to concentrate...

Sarah chuckles at how barmy it is to be finding herself "calmly discussing fabulous planets with blue moons, giant spiders, magic crystals, as if I was talking about er, pussycats, fish and chips and the Liverpool docks."

She's not laughing when the blue crystal fades away before her eyes, though.

Outside the crystal has appeared in Lupton's hand. As he makes a break for it, poor old Benton is just getting back to his feet, only to be thumped out of the way. It's a good job Benton's so good at making coffee, that's all I'm saying.

Lupton only makes it as far as the car park before the Brigadier clocks him, but he can't turn back.

Benton calls out to alert the Brig, who fires off a warning shot or five.

Lupton makes it to the safety of the Whomobile, causing the Doctor to rein in the Brig lest his precious paintwork be damaged by his bullets.

Instead, as Lupton makes a clean getaway (or so he thinks) the Doctor clambers onto the moving Bessie as the Brig bombs it to the airfield...

...where the Doctor wastes no time in taking to the skies by gyrocopter.

Lupton relaxes, thinking he's made good his escape, but the Brig, Sarah and Benton are hot on his trail in Bessie...

...guided from above by the Doctor.

Suddenly rumbling that the UNIT family are breathing down his neck...

...Lupton floors it.

Police Panda Car Three is just reporting in that's it's an uneventful day when the Whomobile whizzes past, followed by Bessie.

Gotta love a comedy incredulous policeman. Wonderful. 


Lupton finds it impossible to shake off the Doctor-guided Bessie.

The Doctor comes in to land as Bessie is just that bit too late to catch Lupton abandoning the Whomobile at a nearby airfield.

In fact Lupton hasn't gone far at all, and is just waiting for his opportunity to scarper once again, as the bumbling bobby distracts the UNIT family.

He pounces on the gyrocopter, and is away.

But the Doctor is far from beaten, and dives for the Whomobile, with Sarah refusing to be left behind.

Love the clunk click.

"But Doctor, you'll never catch him; He's airborne!" exclaims the Brigadier. Little does he know, the Whomobile isn't just the futuristic looking car he took it for on its previous outing.

 Utterly bonkers, but pretty damn cool, let's be honest. 

"Panda Three to control. You'll never believe this, Sergeant, but. Oh, nothing to report, over. I'm coming in. I don't feel very well. Over."

Sarah soon spots Lupton...

...and Lupton can't quite believe his eyes when he spots them.

Soon Lupton is running out of fuel...

...and the Spider commands him to land.

Lupton scarpers across the fields as the Doctor and Sarah come in to land...

...and slips down to the shore.

Lupton spies a couple of men further up the shore, where the owner of a motorboat is marvelling at his friend's new hovercraft.

"Fantastic, Mister Hopkins. If I had enough money, I'd buy twenty of them!" Hurrah, another Who stalwart rewarded with lines for the big send-off - it's Pertwee's stunt double, Terry Walsh!

Lupton knocks poor old Terry in the drink and nicks his boat. The "in the wars" Doctor.

Still, he fares better than poor old Mr. Watson.

As the Doctor and Sarah make it to the shore...  

...poor Terry tries to scrabble back aboard his motorboat only for Lupton to shove him back in the water as he takes off.

With Mr. Watson incapacitated, the Doctor wastes no time in "borrowing" his hovercraft.

On the one hand this chase does get interminable... But on the other, what wouldn't you give to see Pertwee on a space hopper chasing Lupton on a pogo stick? 

As Lupton takes the lead in his much faster mode of transport, the Doctor takes a detour over land; anything Roger Moore can do in Live and Let Die...!

Lupton foolishly thinks he's got the better of the Doctor. He doesn't know our Doctor. 

Good old Stuart Fell completes our hat-trick of stunt regulars...

...with this classic hovercraft-running-over-a-tramp routine. It's the Pertwee era in a nutshell.

Lee Mahon @Lee_JM75 ·  I wish they'd got Pigbin Josh back for that scene. 


Having made up his lost ground, the Doctor edges nearer and nearer, getting ready to launch himself at his quarry.

The spider tells Lupton to concentrate, and just as the Doctor leaps aboard the motorboat...

...the villain disappears before his very eyes!

MAW Holmes @MAW_H · If the spider had been concentrating, it might have done that half an hour ago and saved us all the trouble... 

Part Three (18th May 1974)

Lupton reappears in the monastery, where he's spotted by Tommy.

"Clever Lupton!"

Tommy notes the "pretty" crystal he's grasping. 

Lupton avoids Cho-Je, but is unaware that Tommy is following him.

As Lupton dares to begin imagining what he will do with the power the Spider promises him, he is cautioned that her sisters on Metebelis Three would kill him if they suspected his ambitions.

As if on cue, the Council of Spiders reach out to establish a psychic communication link.

The Queen of the Spiders gives her agent her due... 

...but gives short shrift to Lupton's attempts to insist on his importance.

The Spiders apparently refer to themselves as "The Eight Legs".

When his ally confirms his usefulness, the Queen decides that maybe he could come in handy for "the great work, the conquest of Earth" which is apparently the secret purpose of "the Great One". 

The Eight Legs all dutifully chorus "All praise to the Great One!" every time She's mentioned. 

The Great One (All praise to the Great One!) requires the crystal so that the Eight Legs can return to their "rightful home" as rulers.

The psychic link fades...

...and Lupton is exhausted.

His "Eight Leg" ally detaches itself...

..and scuttles off for a solo wander, teleporting through the door to the corridor outside.

There, it is able to eavesdrop on the Doctor and Sarah, who've arrived hot on Lupton's heels and, teaming up with Mike, are quizzing Cho-Je as to the (ex) salesman's whereabouts.

Barnes, too, is earwigging.

Cho-Je tells them he's just walked past Lupton in the corridor, and he can't have been transported 80 miles in the blink of an eye...

Satisfied, the Eight Legs scuttles away.

Barnes wakes Lupton to warn him that Sarah has returned with the Doctor in tow.

Seeing that it's true that Lupton has purloined the crystal, Barnes gets cold feet.

Lupton is mildly concerned that his Eight Legs ally has vanished, but seeks to reassure Barnes that the crystal is their path to glory.




Lupton relates the source of his bitterness. After a 25 year career he was made redundant, and when he tried to set up on his own the people that had taken over his former employer drove him out of business.

As Lupton rants away, too busy to notice, Tommy reaches in through the window and pinches the crystal!

Lupton came to the retreat to seek power. Barnes just came for a bit of piece and quiet.

Tommy squirrels the crystal away to a shoe box where he keeps his most precious things.

Lupton has no sooner declared that he'll ditch the Spiders at the first opportunity than his Eight Leg co-conspirator reappears to tell him Cho-Je is on the way.

After the Eight Leg once again orders Barnes' dismissal...

...she and the Lupton have a clash of opinions about the merits of confronting the Doctor. The Eight Leg favours the direct approach, where Lupton plans to abscond.

The Eight Leg has had enough of Lupton's resistance. "You forget, Lupton. We are linked together now. I can twist your mind as easily as a two leg boy twists another's arm. Like this!" 


Lupton is a quick thinker, though, and realizes that that psychic pathway is a two way street. He employs the mind-twist in reverse, and the Eight Leg concedes.

Imagine this story with Roger Delgado, though. His mental battles with the spiders would have been great. To have the Master (at least partly) surrendering control to the Spider would have been really terrifying. The shrill, warbly Spider voices are brilliant as are the mind-twisting sound FX.

The Eight Leg and Lupton reach an understanding. When Lupton asserts that he's not going to Metebelis Three just to become a slave to the Queen, his partner in crime reveals her own ambitions. "I like her arrogance no more than you do. You seek power on Earth. I shall seize it on Metebelis."

Thick as thieves they may be, but they're going to have to bluff the Queen - the crystal's gone and they don't have time to retrieve it.

MAW Holmes @MAW_H · "Oh I see" complained the Doctor "you're perfectly fine with TOMMY stealing the blessed thing, but when I do it..."

The Doctor, Sarah and Mike are getting nowhere with Cho-Je, who stalls them with some old horse shit. "You whip your poor horse too much. He gallops so that he is exhausted and yet, you know, he never leaves his stable."

Sarah is thankful to slip away when Tommy beckons her. 

Cho-Je eventually agrees to send for Lupton...

...who is frantically searching for the missing crystal with Barnes. 

The Eight Leg warns him that the power for their journey to Metebelis Three is building and Lupton tells her they'll just have to bluff the Queen without it.

Lupton and Barnes head back to the room nearby, so that when Tommy makes Sarah wait in the corridor while he fetches something to show her, she can hear them conspiring.

Lupton asks Moss to stall for them while he heads to the basement for another chant around the Mandala to focus the Eight Leg energy for the journey to Metebelis Three.

When Tommy returns, Sarah is too preoccupied with getting him to pass on a message to Mike that she can't even see he's trying to give her the very crystal they're all after!

Maybe the real problem with the Tommy character is that the crystal "cures" him? I mean, how, in what way? Just a bit hard to figure out what they're saying was "wrong" with him for that to be the physical fix, really. 

50dw50 @50dw50 ·  it also suggests that learning difficulties can be cured which is a bit sinister

I think that's why it doesn't sit well with me; the implication is it's a disease rather than a physical impairment in the brain, and worse, an illness in body and soul. I suppose that it's, very clumsily, supposed to be the "spider of [his] mind"?

Sarah hides in the basement once again... 

...and watches as Lupton sets up to begin his chant.

At first Mike doesn't realize what Tommy is trying to tell him is important but the Doctor soon cottons on.

In the cellar, Sarah watches as Lupton makes the link to the blue crystal energy on Metebelis Three and is spirited away. 

Standing on the same spot before the energy has fully faded doesn't seem like the best plan, but then Sarah's never afraid to rush into danger.

The Doctor and Mike barge past Barnes but are too late to stop Sarah fading away before their eyes as she's whisked away to a another world of CSO and yellow outlines.

As Sarah watches the distant figure of Lupton making his escape across the barren rocky plain, she's grabbed from behind by a rugged arm.


The Doctor heads for the TARDIS, assuring Mike that having wired the co-ordinates into the programmer Metebelis Three is the one planet he can be absolutely certain of reaching, even if he'll have to leave the precise landing up to "the TARDIS herself. She's no fool, you know!"

When Mike notes that he talks about his ship as if "she" were alive, the Doctor gives a good humoured smile, but doesn't answer the implied question. "Yes. Yes, I do, don't I?"

Sarah is dragged into a primitive looking village by a young man, Tuar, who brings her before the Head Man of the village, his father, Sabor.

If she is a spy for the Eight Legs, Sabor says, then her capture condemns them all to death, like their neighbours in the village of Skorda - but Tuar is a militant and says the time has come for them to fight back.

Sarah's ignorance of the villagers' ways is such that when she uses the forbidden word "Spider" Tuar attempts to push her off a cliff.

He's stopped by his brother, Arak, who recognizes that she is no spy, just a stranger.

Arak has been in hiding, having been condemned to death for striking one of the Eight Leg Queen's guards. His mother, Neska, cries out for him to come back inside for his own safety, but Arak is more concerned with learning the truth about Sarah.

When Sarah tells them she's from Earth, they ask if she came in "a starship, like your ancestors did?"

A trumpet sounds, announcing the arrival of the Queen of the Eight Legs. Neska hurries Arak and Sarah, with Tuar's warnings that Sarah will betray them all still ringing out.

The Queen is borne in by her carriers, and her Head Guard issues a demand - unless Arak is given up, one male Two Leg will be taken from each family of the settlement to suffer retribution.

Sabor decides to go and speak to the Queen himself, reasoning that the people need Arak more than him.

Sabor makes his son's case: "Draga is a bad field guard. He's unfair, he's cruel. He struck Neska, Arak's mother, for no good reason."

The Queen is unmoved, though, Arak will still die. Knowing that it means he will have to take his son's place, Sabor says that he helped Arak escape to the hills.

MAW Holmes @MAW_H ·  Oh, oh... just remembered that we're on the brink of the mother performance from hell, aren't we...?

Neska makes "a bit of a scene". "No, I shan't. You shan't take him! Sabor, my husband, my love! Why did you do it? Why? Why? WHY!!"

The guards stun Neska with the power from a staff with a blue gem at the end. When her daughter Rega calls out for her mother, the Queen spots Sarah watching through the open door and cries out.

Sarah gives herself up to protect Arak and prove Tuar wrong.

On Earth, the Doctor races into his lab and dives into TARDIS...

...and when he lands, he finds that sure enough he's materialized bang on target for once: Right in middle of the village!


The Doctor seems a bit more resistant to the guards' gem-staffs, batting one away to address the Queen and plead for Sarah's release.

When he tells her that he and Sarah have come from Earth, the Queen begins to suspect a link to her agent's earlier tribulations. "From Earth? Then you are the one who... No. No, that cannot be."

When the Queen orders the Doctor and Sarah brought along for questioning, the Doctor has had enough and abandons the diplomatic approach for a more tried and tested method: Venusian Aikido.

It all kicks off.

MAW Holmes @MAW_H ·  "HAI!!! Everyone"

Neska and Rega hand Sarah a cloak and she puts it on to slip away in the commotion.

Summoning up the power of the Eight Legs' Queen, the Guard Captain throws an energy bolt that knocks the Doctor to the ground, inches from the TARDIS.

 The Doctor slumps down, lifeless! Cliffhanger!

50dw50 @50dw50 ·  does he go into a coma by any chance? 

PART FOUR (25th May 1974)

Satisfied that striking down the Doctor has at least temporarily quelled an uprising, the Queen decides on a tactical withdrawal.

Sarah has successfully vanished into the crowd, but Sabor is hauled off in Arak's place.

Barnes and the other chanters are in clueless disarray without Lupton. 

As Tuar tells Sarah to bury the Doctor in the morning after their curfew, she realizes the Doctor is not dead when he begins to move again.

Barnes and the others have the jitters.

When they hear Tommy outside, practising reading on their "Do Not Disturb" sign, they send him packing. 

Tommy decides to go back to his hidey hole under the stairs to continue his practice in peace, which allows Mike Yates to go back to his earwigging.

Sarah worries as the Doctor seems to deteriorate, and Rega tells her there is no cure.

Returning to the council chamber, the Eight Legs' Queen is irked to find Lupton and his partner in crime on her throne.

Lupton's Eight Leg is particularly cocky considering they don't actually have the crystal. "Perhaps the days of the Queen's commands are numbered...?"

But the Queen is (obviously) able to call their bluff, shifting them back to a position of "We know where it is hidden."


The Great One awaits the crystal (All praise to the Great One!) but Lupton says she'll just have to wait until he gets his reward.

The Queen sways the support of the council with news that the Doctor is dead, and suggests that they seek to capture Sarah rather than give in to "these traitors." It seems her sisters agree.

Tommy makes his little cubby hole comfortable, placing the crystal nearby, at eye level, and sits to read his book.
It's not long before the crystal begins to glow, and when it catches his eye, Tommy is entranced, before collapsing. 

When he awakes, he finds reading infinitely easier, racing through the words without hesitation. The crystal has apparently boosted his brain's functioning.

On Metebelis Three, Sarah tries to make the Doctor comfortable. He begins to mumble, and is just about able to get across that he needs something from a bag in the TARDIS.

Sarah breaks the curfew to sneak over to the TARDIS.
She's able to retrieve the bag, but on her way back, she's intercepted by Lupton.
Nevertheless, Arak is able to retrieve the Doctor's man bag. It's where Pertwee keeps his hairspray. Probably. 

Inside is a device...

...which the Doctor uses to 'earth' the crystal energy he was zapped with.

The Doctor thanks the villagers, before drifting off into a more restful sleep.

Tommy's reading age has just increased exponentially thanks to the crystal and he's keen to try out the Abbot's well-stocked library.

"Tyger, tyger, burning bright..." Ooh, I like this bit. Tommy's right, it *is* pretty. 

50dw50 @50dw50 ·  never liked that poem, the rhymes are rubbish!


Burn the heretic! None of that 'poems wot don't rhyme are like some sort of crime' stuff here! 

Sarah's sent to the Eight Legs' larder, where Sabor is already done up like a packed lunch. Lupton watches with satisfaction as Sarah's stunned into unconsciousness.


Back at the retreat Mike decides it's time to confront Barnes and co. 

Unfortunately, Moss is so highly strung right now, that when Barnes invites the ex-UNIT Captain in, he knocks him unconscious.

In the morning, despite snoozing through the spiders' capture of Sabor and Sarah, the Doctor's that git that wakes everyone else up. "Wakey, wakey! Rise and shine! Show a leg, the weather's fine."

Sarah struggles to get out of her spider silk sleeping bag, but Sabor tells her there's no escape. I don't like the sound of what she has in store for her: "Usually they eat the sheep we breed for them. They prefer human flesh."

The Doctor enjoys some mutton broth for breakfast as Arak explains that the villagers are descended from Earth Colonists. "433 Earth years ago, their starship came out of its time jump with no power left, and crashed on Metebelis Three." 

The Doctor is curious as to how the Spiders arrived.

Sabor is busy giving the answer to Sarah: An ordinary spider from aboard that crashed ship must have been blown by the wind and up into the mountains, where the strange power of the blue crystals enlarged its mind, making successive generations of spiders cleverer and cleverer and larger and larger. 

The Doctor sets about scanning the local geology, reasoning that the crystals are unlikely to be the only things with special properties. He's after a natural defence against the crystals' effects.

On Earth, Mike awakes to find the chanters have him gagged and bound.

Once Arak has gathered him a collection of local pebbles, the Doctor is able to use the device from the TARDIS to scan for the properties he's seeking.

Having found what he's looking for, he hands similar stones to Arak and Tuar to prepare their revolution then heads off alone to rescue Sarah.

Sabor tells Sarah that they have no hope of rescue but she hasn't given up on the Doctor.

Breaking into Spider city, the Doctor gets "Hai" again!  

In his struggle with the Guard Captain, he loses his grip on his gadget, but just when he's about to reach it, Lupton steps in. Or rather, on.

Lupton's in trouble himself, though - the guards have orders from the Queen to seize him. The Queen has detected the missing crystal's vibrations on Earth.

The Doctor tries the old "act like you own the place" routine to saunter off. "Ah, poor fellow. I hope they won't be too hard on him. He fell into bad company, you know. Oh well, I must be off..."

But the guards aren't fooled for a second and grab him again. "Oh dear, this is getting monotonous!" says the Doctor, setting up the audience with an open goal... 

Bit of an odd cliffhanger, just Sarah getting her hopes up before being disappointed at the Doctor's capture.

PART FIVE (1st June 1974)

The Queen is back on top. "Your conspiracy has been discovered. You and your confederate will die!"

Lupton says he never claimed to have brought the crystal with him, only that he knew where it was. "The situation is unchanged. If you wish to invade Earth, you need my help."

Lupton's Eight Leg twists the knife, suggesting to her sisters of the council that the Queen's arrogance has endangered the master plan of the Great One (All praise to the Great One!)

The Queen rebuffs this by promising to visit the cave of the crystal and ask the approval of the Great One herself (All praise to the Great One!).

The Doctor has rumbled they're in the larder, but thinks the Spider will find him "a tough old bird". Sarah calls the Doctor "an old boiler!"

MAW Holmes @MAW_H ·  Seems this old boiler's wearing a bit thin...

"Yes, make a good item on the next agenda of the spider council meeting. Whether to stew a Time Lord or roast him in a slow oven."
"That'll give them something to chew over."
"Yes, something they can really get their teeth into, what?"

Lovely puntastic interplay between Sarah and the 3rd Doctor, here, very much the kind of thing you'd more readily associate between her and his successor (More on him later...!).

Sabor is concerned to learn that Arak and co. are preparing to attack, but the Doctor assures him they know how to defend themselves now.

The guards arrive and haul Sarah off for an audience with the Queen.

Having been tightly bound up for a while Sarah has pins and needles. 

The Doctor tells her to stall the Queen for as long as she can. Sarah says she'll do her best to give the Spiders indigestion!

Despite Neska's pleas, Arak and the lads get ready to storm the Eight Leg city, with cries of "Death to the Eight Legs!"

The Doctor wriggles free of his Spider-silk binding and namedrops Houdini at the same time. Skills.

He promises to come back for Sabor as soon as he finds Sarah. We'll see about that...

The Queen dismisses her guards so as to give Sarah a private audience.

The Queen tells her she wants to help her and the Doctor to escape back to Earth because she does not agree with the plan to invade Earth.

Sarah drives a hard bargain, agreeing to help the Queen in return for the release of Sabor and all the other humans, as well as making peace and listening to the humans grievances.

The Doctor gives the guards the slip.

Back on Earth, Mike tries to persuade the chanters to release him into the cellar.

Mike says he'll join the chant to re-open the link to Metebelis Three because he wants Sarah back as much as they want Lupton back. 

Lupton gets lippy so the Eight Legs give him another brain-twister. "You will obey!" they chant, and he is forced to concede to serving them. "I shall obey. I shall obey." Again, you just have to wonder at the possibility of this being the Master broken by the will of the Spiders.

The Doctor finds himself going deeper and deeper beneath the Spider city, and into the blue mountain. The tunnel walls begin to take on a different look, giving off a glow of blue light. Suddenly he hears Sarah's voice calling from the depths of the tunnel and hurries towards the sound.

Tommy can read much more complex words now but is unfamiliar with their meaning, so decides to seek Mike's assistance.

He then recalls Lupton appearing out of thin air from earlier, and decides to conceal the crystal in a First Aid box while he seeks the advice of Cho-Je.

As the Doctor nears the heart of the blue mountain, Sarah's voice stops, and is replaced with the cruel sneering of Great One (All praise to the Great One!), who, still unseen, warns him that if he comes closer he'll die. "Gradually every cell in your body will be irretrievably damaged by the crystal rays!".




She wants him alive, though, to retrieve the crystal he stole so long ago.

Sarah is not there at all, it was all mimicry, which the Great One (All praise to the Great One!) demonstrates by reciting 'Pop Goes the Weasel!' in Sarah's voice.

The Great One's fearsome psychokinetic powers allow her to control him like a puppet, and he grows afraid...

"Is that fear I can feel in your mind? You are not accustomed to feeling frightened, are you, Doctor? You are very wise to be afraid of me. Go now. You must hurry back and fetch the crystal. I must have it, don't you understand? I must have it! I must! I must! I must!" The creature's desperate shrieks are terrifying.

Mike helps the chanters re-establish the link to the Eight Leg council, which is a massive own-goal...

...as it means the creatures are free to able to travel to Earth and begin their invasion! 

The chanters suspect nothing as the Eight Legs begin to materialize in the dark corners of the cellar.

Although Cho-Je thanks Tommy for alerting him to the extra-curricular activities of Lupton's group, he doesn't quite seem to grasp the gravity of what is happening under his nose when he calls them "foolish fellows".

Or maybe he's just pragmatically taking it in his stride, as he has done Tommy's transformation. "When everything is new, can anything be a surprise?" 

By the time he gets to the cellar, Cho-Je can only remonstrate with the chanters before being zapped by an Eight Leg invader.

Cho-Je is struck down and ends up covered in Mike Yates.

Tommy can do nothing for the chanters as they're cornered by the Eight Legs, and makes his escape, shutting the cellar door behind him. 

On Metebelis Three, the Doctor has made it back to the Eight Leg larder. As Arak and Tuar arrive to free Sabor, she tells him that they're going to escape.

While Arak and Tuar free Sabor and drive home the revolution...

...Sarah is somehow able to teleport the Doctor back to the TARDIS. That's not suspicious at all. "Goes the Weasel..." notes the Doctor.

Sarah still has the TARDIS key from when she grabbed the Doctor's man bag.

They race back to the Monastery before Neska can ask for any news of her sons and husband. Bit rude.

On Earth, the chanters have been taken over by the vanguard of Eight Legs.

As soon as the Doctor and Sarah arrive in the TARDIS, the possessed chanters attack them, but the Doctor is able to use one of the Metebelis stones to absorb the crystal energy.

Tommy steps in to rescue them. 

RE: Sarah's otherwise horrific "You're normal!" line, this is just the (clumsy) set up for Tommy's "I sincerely hope not" line.   I *do* tend to forgive because (a) I feel like his line does empower him & (b) the actor sells the line so well.

Nick Mellish @nickmellish · Could have been worse, could have been Benton.

MAW Holmes @MAW_H ·  Is that the seventies Who now most untransmittable "Love Thy Neighbour" moment...?

Depends how you feel about Talons of Weng Chiang, I guess!

Nick Mellish @nickmellish ·  It probably would be if not handled so well by Tommy himself as a character. All in all, they 'do' Tommy very well. 

As Tommy takes them to the temporary safety of the Abbot's room, Sarah is very keen to find out where the crystal is. Very keen.

The Doctor speaks a little Tibetan, apologising for not bringing a ceremonial scarf as is the custom. Give it a couple of episodes and he'll have scarf to spare.

The Abbot seems to already know the Doctor, but the Doctor doesn't recognize the old man. Maybe he needs to look a little bit closer.
 

Nice of the Abbot to send Tommy out to face the electric chanters on his own. 

The Abbot asks to hear the Doctor's story, and he begins to tell the tale of how he "found" the blue crystal.

"Found? Ooh, you bloody liar!"  

The Doctor does begin to suspect that he knows K'Anpo from somewhere, only to be told that "the recognition of friends is not always easy." 

K'Anpo wants to hear about the crystal he stole, and the Doctor says that it didn't really occur to him that he *had* stolen it at the time, which, let's be honest, is pretty reasonable. Seriously, if you pick up a shell on the beach, or a branch in the park, have you "stolen" it? 

We dip into the future now as the episode timing hasn't worked out as planned and the original cliffhanger is too far away, meaning a scene originally intended for episode 6 appears now. Wibbly wobbly, and all that.

Barnes' Eight Leg has detected the crystal in K'Anpo's room, where we don't yet know it is (ahem), and the group set about zapping Tommy.

He's putting up a good fight, but how long can he last? Cliffhanger!

PART SIX (8th June 1974)

As the final episode begins, our "recap" is a new, earlier, scene, as the chanters are directed by their Eight Leg possessors to detect the vibrations of the crystal they seek.

We pick up where we left off with the Doctor, Sarah and the Abbot. When K'Anpo suggests the Eight Legs should have the crystal if they want it so badly (not such a daft suggestion when we see what happens eventually!), the Doctor shakes his head. "Once they get a hold of that crystal, nothing can stop them taking over the Earth."

"Or even the universe itself," interjects Sarah, oddly. 

K'Anpo reveals what the last episode's cliffhanger let slip: Tommy had brought the crystal to him. 

Sarah becomes very grabby, and the truth dawns as she speaks with the voice of the Queen of the Eight Legs. "Give it to me!"

The lightning bolts are a bit of a dead giveaway too, as she raises her arm to strike the Doctor with crystal energy. 

K'Anpo commands her to stay back, and, placing his hand on the Doctor's, allows him to see through his eyes.

Not all spiders sit on the back. But this one does. 

"Good grief!"


Seems like a pretty good place for a cliffhanger, to be honest.

Tommy gets a blast from the past (ahem), as the Spider-Men have detected the crystal is in the Abbot's room, which we now know.

K'Anpo and the Doctor urge Sarah to free herself from the Queen's domination. 

K'Anpo tells her to look into her mind and see that she *is* free. 

Sarah begins to fight back, and the Doctor tells her to focus on the crystal's blue light. 

 Ah, finally, the right kind of spider: the dead kind. 

The electric chanters charge up for another attack on Tommy.

Sarah is sorry for submitting to the will of the Queen, but K'Anpo excuses her, whilst at the same time aiming a swipe at the Doctor: "We are all apt to surrender ourselves to domination."

He is referencing the Doctor's greed for knowledge that set in motion this whole chain of events when he stole the crystal. "Not all spiders sit on the back."

The penny finally drops. "K'Anpo" is none other than the Doctor's old mentor, the Gallifreyan hermit the Doctor's been rabbiting on about for the last few years!

And more - when  Sarah asks if Cho-Je is a Time-Lord too, he tells her that he is "In a sense. In another sense, he doesn't exist." which confuses even the Doctor. It turns out that Cho-Je is a projection of K'Anpo's next incarnation!

In the cellar, Cho-Je regains consciousness and rallies Yates.

The Council of the Eight Legs are sending all the power they can muster to the electric chanters so they can get past Tommy and seize the crystal.

K'Anpo feels a moment of truth approaching, for him and for the Doctor.

The Doctor must return the crystal to Metebelis and face his fear.

K'Anpo gives the crystal to the Doctor, who knows that he must take it to the Great One (All praise to the Great One!).

Sarah grows fearful herself. "But you told me that if you went back there, the cave of crystal would destroy you!" 
"Nevertheless, I have to go."

The Doctor takes K'Anpo's hand. With a second Time Lord's power to draw on, can he get past the electric chanters and back to the TARDIS in the cellar?

As the powered-up electric chanters launch their final assault, Mike rushes to Tommy's defence, but this only allows the villains to pass when Tommy tends to the stricken Mike...

The chanters are through, but, thanks to K'Anpo's assistance, the Doctor uses the crystal to teleport away.

K'Anpo buys him the time he needs at the cost of his (current) life...

...and the Doctor escapes in the TARDIS.

He arrives on Metebelis Three as per the hardwired directional circuits...

...and is immediately greeted by Arak and Tuar - the revolution was a success, hurrah!

Actually, the revolution was a flop, booo! The Eight Leg-controlled villagers have lured the Doctor back to the Council chamber.

The new Queen - Lupton's co-conspirator - demands the crystal, but the Doctor will only give it to the Great One herself (All praise to the Great One!).

None of them dare take the crystal, except Lupton, but the new Queen stops him in his tracks. "We dare not take the crystal. The Great One is all seeing."

"All praise to the Great One!"
The new Queen leads the council in some fanatically sycophantic chanting:
"The Great One is all knowing."
"All praise to the Great One!"
"The Great One is all powerful!"
"All praise to the Great One!"

The new Queen acknowledges that the Doctor has beaten them, but can't resist a last twist of the knife as he leaves. "It is good that you will die!"

Lupton loses his rag, sealing his fate with repeated use of the forbidden word: "I will not be silent! I've listened to you for too long! To think that I've lost my chance of power through a spider! A spider that I could crush underfoot, without a second thought. A spider!"

He raises a fist to his one time partner, and is struck down dead.

Tommy helps Cho-Je carry Mike into the Abbot's room.

With his last ounce of strength, K'Anpo restores Mike...

...and with that his old body has worn a bit thin. Past, present and future finally collide as Cho-Je vanishes mid-sentence, only to apparently "replace" K'Anpo as the old Time Lord regenerates.

Sarah, Mike and Tommy are all flabbergasted, much to the Time-Lord's amusement. "Will you put this in your magazine, Sarah Jane Smith?"

On Metebelis Three, the Doctor enters the cavern of the Great One (All praise to the Great One!). 

This time he is invited into her parlour, and there she is in all her gory glory!

The Doctor appeals to her to just take the crystal and leave the humans in peace, but the monster cackles that she doesn't care about the Earth, "One paltry planet among millions?"

She's desperate for the crystal - "I thirst for it! I ache for it!" - because it's the final perfect part of the the web of crystal above her head, which will reproduce and resonate the pattern of her brain, increasing her mental powers exponentially.

The Doctor's spotted the flaw in her plan though: "You've built a positive feedback circuit. You're trying to increase your mental powers to infinity... What you're trying to do is impossible. If you complete that circuit, the energy will build up and up until it cannot be contained. You will destroy yourself!" 

The Great One (All praise to the Great One!) doesn't want to hear it and starts to taunt him about the devastating effects the crystal radiation is already having on every cell in the Doctor's body. 

With the crystal lattice completed, the monster's egomania runs rampant. "I am complete! Now I am total power! All praise to the Great One! All praise to me! Bow down before me, planets! Bow down, stars! Bow down, all galaxies and worship the Great One! The me! The Great, all-powerful me!"

But exactly as the Doctor predicted, the power is too much and starts to fry her brain.

The Doctor legs it, as the Great One (All praise - oh, sod it) begs for help.

Without the influence of their Goddess, the other Eight Legs start to die off too.

Arak and Tuar are free, and make a break for it.

Sure enough, in the Monastery cellar on Earth, the Eight Legs bonded to the chanters wither and die, falling from their backs.

Mortally wounded by the radiation, the Doctor staggers back to the safety of the TARDIS in the nick of time...



...as the Great One takes the whole crystal mountain with her when she explodes!

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, it's been weeks since the Brig and Sarah have seen the Doctor. 

Bloody split seasons. 


The Brig recalls another time he was gone for months, then came back with another face. 

Right on cue, the TARDIS arrives. 

The Doctor is on his last legs, though. He's been lost in the vortex, struggling back to them, slowly dying as a result of the radiation from the crystal cave. 

More than most regenerations, this really is like a death.

"I had to face my fear, Sarah... That was more important than just going on living."

Considering people say the classics didn't do emotions, this is an incredibly affecting regeneration scene. "A tear, Sarah Jane? No, don't cry. While there's life there's..."

Lee Mahon @Lee_JM75 ·  I've always liked this regeneration. As you say it's an emotional scene and it's so simply done that it works beautifully.

K'Anpo materializes in the lab, hovering in mid air... 

"This is the Abbot of... No, it's Cho-Je. I mean, it looks like Cho-Je but it is really K'Anpo Rinpoche. I think."
"Thank you. That makes everything quite clear."

Solid Gold A1 Brigging from Nick Courtney right there.

K'Anpo tells them that it's all right, the Doctor is not dead. Sarah can't bring herself to hope it's true, but the Time Lord tells her that he will give the process a little push and the Doctor's cells will regenerate into a new man! 


"It will shake up the brain cells a little. You may find his behaviour somewhat... erratic." He's not wrong there.

As the Brigadier wonders where K'Anpo has disappeared to, Sarah is tugging at his sleeve. "Look, Brigadier. Look. I think it's starting!"

"Well... Here we go again!"

So Goodbye and thank you, Jon...

...and heeeeeere's Tom!

"This novel features the 4th Doctor who regenerated after her 3rd incarnation sacrificed himself to defeat the Blue Meanies..."

See also...
What if... Jon Pertwee starred in Season 12?

TTFN! K.
Coming Soon... Logopolis

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