The Twin Dilemma

Season 22, Story 7/7, Serial 6S: 4 x 25 minutes episodes, 22nd to 30th March 1984, Writer: Anthony Stevens, Director: Peter Moffatt, Script Editor: Eric Saward, Producer: John Nathan-Turner

So after last week's story being one of the finest ever, are we all excited? Wonder what he'll wear... 

I will just mention again that I give the thumbs up to the blue prismatic effect on Colin's title sequence. 

2 twins playing bizarrely coloured space chess argue with their father about their mother being an idiot. Okay... 

Wait, what? Is this CBBC? Sets by Blue Peter? It's... colourful. I guess it can't get much more colourful. Can it? 

This can't be the same show... was the Caves of Androzani really so expensive that they only had crayons left? 

The twins are terrible actors.

Odd harpsichord-y riff for the 6th Doctor. 

How does Peri know he keeps a mirror in that pocket? Why does he keep a mirror in that pocket? Nice bit of business from Colin showing her "his" reflection.

Peri liked the 5th Doctor because he was "almost young"? Yeah, classic companions never fancied the Doctor... 

So far, so fine as far as the new Doctor's concerned; he's very different, but the change in him is rivetting. Not a million miles away from the suspicion at Troughton's first ever new Doctor, which is presumably what they were aiming for.

Then he has some sort of manic fit. I'm interested in him so far though, so it still could go either way.

That velvet jacket (or a better fitting one) would suit the new Doctor very well.

 

The Sylveste twins seem to live in a hairdressers, or possibly a milkshake bar.

 

They don't seem too bothered by "Edgeworth"; presumably elderly Professors materialise in their home often. 

He shakes their hands and they're hypnotised or drugged more likely. He spirits them away.

Oh God, my eyes! The coat! Won't somebody think of the children!
Peri: "You're not serious...!" 

That would have worked for a one scene joke, before he quickly moved on to the *real* costume.

The Doctor takes exception to Peri's fashion criticisms. She's not wrong, though. 

It's only a model. 

In Cyber-control some bird men await "Edgeworth"'s arrival.  

Who are these bird faced men? Who the hell is Mestor?

Peri's also changed outfits. Not as bad as Col's but still awful. We're still getting that horrible music too. 

He's gone nuts now, getting all sinister and aggressive over the origins of Peri's name.  

Now he thinks she's an alien spy so he tries to strangle her till she shows him his reflection.  

The strangling bit is too much. You'd still assume he'll stabilise soon but there needs to be credible examination of this & proper reconciliation for the two characters to go on.

The Twins Dad has come back from leaving them home alone and calls in the space filth.

The Doctor claims to have an "inbuilt resistance to any violence except in self-defence."   

 

Why's Peri not demanding to be let off the TARDIS, pressing buttons to make it happen, trying to tie up the Doctor? 

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris · I think that moment alienates fans from this story. The change of character is always dramatic but this was unparalleled! In regen stores there is normally a “decompression moment” where the story nods to the fans and says ‘don’t worry’ That is a key imbalance. At no point does Peri say she wants to go home. There is no exploration of her journey.

It's bad in itself, but I think they could have rescued it/him, if they'd dealt with it credibly. As it is they just ignore it.

"Thou craggy knob!" You said it. 

"Take care not to blow their hearts and minds!" Don't worry, Mestor, think you're safe on that score. 

The crashed ships from the fighters pursuing the twins has a lone survivor. Peri and the mad new Doctor to the rescue! 

Bek Hobbes @Greebobek · They should have their own hero music. Maybe the theme tune to Roobarb and Custard?

I like it; suits Colin's Doctor, bounding into action. The birds are definitely all laughing at him, too. 

"That's an order from the minister, and may my bones rot for obeying it!" May they indeed, may they indeed. 

The Doctor & Peri arguing about everything is not enjoyable, but I'm invested in them so I'm putting up with it. So when they're threatened with a gun at the end of part 1 by the space cop they've rescued, I'm still obviously rooting for them but that's the whole of his 1st episode without me really coming round to being on the side of the new Doctor. 

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris When you spell out the individual elements, it sounds ridiculous. But within the story it all makes a crazy kind of sense

It hangs together despite itself, yeah, but you would've thought those individual elements would've been obvious on paper, and therefore should never have got off the page. Certainly should never have got past the script editor.

Close-up of Colin for the cliffhanger - known as a Colin era trope but this surely started with Androzani part 3! 

The space cop threatens to shoot the Doctor for murder, but then has a lie down instead.

 

Into part 2 & the Doctor is much better & working with Peri much better & his Sherlockian deducting is fun. He's so much more Doctor-ish now, raring to go, to get stuck in to saving the day. 

Right now would be a good point to declare, right, I'm stable now, I'll get out of this awful get-up and we'd be back to business as usual, and sighing with relief. We can like this new Doctor now. 

Even the Longfellow Excelsior bit is fine, assuming he's not going to be reciting poetry *all* the time. 

But I like the swaggering confidence - there's a real blend of Pertwee & Baker, with a few spikier Hartnell moments. 

You have to look at it this way - the coat is actually part and parcel of this Doctor's heroic modus operandi he's protecting people from the 1st moment he steps in a room because all eyes are on *him* - his attitude is very much 'if you want to threaten them you have to come through me'. The coat is a challenge, a gauntlet thrown down: want to subjugate someone you think is weak & stupid? Get a load of this!

Admittedly this is probably far more thought than JNT et al put into it beyond the "totally tasteless" remit. And there's no denying that without this explanation in-show, the costume was a massive turn off for a lot of viewers. But imagine a scene like Troughton & Watling's "sleep in my mind" from Tomb of the Cybermen, where the 6th Doctor takes a quiet moment to apologise for the attempted strangulation, and to promise Peri that no-one will ever harm her again on his watch; that he'll always protect her, and everyone else he possibly can. Her death at the end of Mindwarp would be all the more crushing. For the latter half of Trial he would change his outfit to the blue version: the Necrosian colour of mourning. A hero's character arc through a costume that now has a poignant weight.

Patrick Byrne @mynamespat · I prefer the blue Big Finish coat but the technicolour dreamcoat is fine by me. 

Nick Mellish @nickmellish · The coat works well and suits his post-regenerative haze in this story. Not so much later on. 

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris I wonder if the story suffered from being the last of S21 rather than the first of S22? We had lots of time to dwell on this.

James Smith @thejimsmith · This is last 20th Century "series finale" where the audience wouldn't be worried about the series being cancelled. Scary. 

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton  Problems with #thetwindilemma stem from end of season ending on a sour note, THAT coat on Hugo and THAT coat on Sixie. 

As the equivalent of the modern PJs/Nightshirt it could've worked - if at the end he picks his proper outfit for season 22.

Now he's gone all cowardly, hiding behind Peri. This is the real wrong turn. 

Bek Hobbes @Greebobek ·  Never cruel or cowardly? Well, not any more!

He's the one who *really* broke the promise! 

The story and the character were going somewhere, ready to soar, but we've taken a backwards step & anchored ourselves in the rut of the unlikeable bits instead of building on them to love the redeemed version.

I'm calling this as 60% Saward's fault and 40% JNT's. Buck stops with JNT, he's taken his eye off the ball, but Saward is the one in control of the day to day script development and lets this slide.

I'm pulling it apart like "would've, should've, could've" but on its own terms it's not as bad as its reputation.

Jesus, now Hugo's had a wardrobe disaster in the TARDIS too. 

Oooh, a nasty wobble when Colin came away from that clearly-covered-in-foil console :-(

Looks like the new Doctor, just when he's settled down again, has been blown up. Peri puts in some rotten crying. 

He's alright, Peri's watch had just stopped.  

But the dialogue's gone rotten. 

"It's called compassion, Doctor; it's the difference that remains between us!" SAWARD!!! *shakes fist*

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris · that line irritated me. Not 50 minutes ago the Doctor had given her a cure to spectrox toximia. Now he has no compassion? 

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton · It's not Colin's fault. He was working with what he was told to do. Plan would have worked over a clear season

Okay *I think* he's settled down now, but (a) the coat's a problem and (b) the dialogue is awful.  

Has to be said, as I've neglected to do so thus far, Colin himself is the saving grace.  

On Jaconda, Mestor lays down the law. 

 

 The TARDIS arrives... 

  

...and the Doctor discovers that the planet has been lain waste by giant gastropods. "Nonsense," says Hugo.   

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton ·Things could have been so different had JNT & Saward left after Caves and new team brought in for a new era. 

Seems the cave Banksy's have been at it again... 

They cower from the gastropod's rotting veg trumps.

Hugo's not a bad character; could've stayed as a Harry Sullivan type. Conditional on ditching the tinfoil coat.

Azmael reveals Mestor's plan; to move planets' orbits, hence needing the twins' mathematical skills... 

The Doctor overhears Azmael "bullying children" and leaps into action without a second thought.

Apart from the fact that he's up to his strangler's ways again...

...this is more like the Doctor we want; more like the powerful force of nature the 'real' 6th Doctor will be.

The Doctor checks Mestor's figures and realises that the orbits cannot be balanced the way has been claimed. 

Gareth Kavanagh @Garethothevworp · We've all been there. It's a common mistake.
 
I'm hardening my eggs for re-entry as we speak.

FFS. Mestor can open the TARDIS door just like that & the birdmen have a nosey around. Anyone can get in the TARDIS in the 80s. 

The Doctor finds a bottle of something useful. Yoink!

The Doctor tries to find the answer in the hatchery and dissects a gastropod egg - or tries to. The laser cutter fails... 

 The egg shells have been engineered to withstand space travel & the heat of atmospheric re-entry. The plan unfolds... 

Azmael's on his last regeneration. Don't worry, you can just phone up the Time-Lords for a new cycle, don't you know?  

"I'm not having your sluggy eggs spread all over the universe, causing havoc!" Okay, I'm liking his no nonsense style now.

James Smith @thejimsmith · The Doctor's poor 1st throw seems to be a reference to his previous self's cricketing excellence & thus difference between them. 

It doesn't help that (a) Mestor is inaudible & shoddy looking (b) Mestor's throneroom looks crap and (c) I don't really give a monkey's about Jaconda.

Mestor gets in Azmael's head, but he's bitten off more than he can chew...

Azmael's given the Doctor the chance to destroy Mestor's body.  

  

Azmael traps Mestor in his dying body, and the slug is defeated. Should've just used salt.  

MestorTheMagnificent @JocondaControl · No! I live! I am Mestor The Magnificent!

James Smith @thejimsmith · Azmael starts to regenerate as he dies even though he has no lives left, as does the (Teselecta as) Doctor at Lake Silencio. 

 The Doctor is reunited with Peri, puts down the Chamberlain & leaves Hugo to sort out Jaconda.  

Peri chides the Doctor for being rude, but he assures her he is as stable as he's going to get. He's an alien, okay?

"I *am* the Doctor, whether you like it or not!" 

...and they smile at each other like it's all okay. Is it, though? Hmmm. 

  

So... worst story ever?

Patrick Byrne @mynamespat ·It's awful but not irredeemable.

Kosmic Kris @KosmicKris ·  Not at all. It is disorganised, lacks polish and finese but there are flashes of some really nice moments in there. it suffers from comparison to Caves, from being the s21 Finale, and a new Doctor. Lots of external influences undermine it!

Paul Cooke @paulpcooke · I hated this at school,as it was EMBARRASSING for me,but I've mellowed but not to the point I'd want to watch it with an adult not-we that wasn't already a fan. A guilty pleasure. The actors are what make it. Seeing them struggle with the shoddy production values.

Phil Creighton @phil_creighton ·No. It's a three-way tie between Love & Monsters, Fear Her and Day of the Doctor.

Steve Powner @StevePowner · In some ways a disaster but Colin Baker is wonderful and works so hard to lift the story

Deta @Detaleader ·Love & Monsters or Mark of the Rani are worst.

James Smith @thejimsmith · Definitely bottom 5. A combination of the trying production circumstances & its ambition sometimes incline me to leniency. There are other stories that are nearly as bad & with fewer excuses. The novelisation, oddly, is quite superb.


To my mind, when you tot up the missteps it possibly *is* worst, but it's more rewatchable than some. 

TTFN! K.
Coming Soon... The Mind of Evil

Doctor Who and the Silence

2nd August 2013

You may or may not have seen this story developing over the last week or so

 - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23502291.

Naturally, the vast majority of Twitter users were (are) sickened by the threats of rape, violence and even death suffered by twitter users mentioned in the article, but in seeking to make a protest against Twitter's appalling refusal and/or inability to recognise this abhorrent criminality and to live up to their responsibility to act against it, what has been proposed is the "#trolliday" where high profile or high volume users would leave Twitter to the trolls. 

This will happen on Sunday 4th August. 

Obviously this is laudably well-motivated, but I think it's very ill-conceived. 

In my opinion, the one day neglible dip in traffic from a few celebs and some of their followers does Twitter, the company, no harm and the real attention will be on what those celebs then say about it on Monday. Why not just say it on Sunday? How will the #trolliday itself highlight threats to silence women by participating in that silence? (And out of interest, what's the point in having a hashtag if you won't tweet it?)

I think the gap will just be filled by Justin Bieber, sports, the Sherlock trailer, speculation about the next Doctor Who of course, and any number of other things.  

(I'm well aware this makes me a hypocrite when I moan about Justin Bieber, by the way! But I can ignore them, they do no real harm).

Personally, I will be tweeting on Sunday, not silently surrendering the bridge to the trolls - it's #takebacktwitter day to me!

• "There are corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things; Things that act against everything we believe in. They must be fought." - The (2nd) Doctor, The Moonbase.

Now, I'd already expressed my misgivings about this method of protest, but today this protest took on a (to my mind) very disappointing and distasteful shade to its character.

At midnight on Thursday night/Friday morning, (a mere 7 hours or so after the fact had already been leaked, of course), the BBC announced that the new star of Doctor Who will be revealed in a special live programme. 

On Sunday 4th August.

And Doctor Who is one of many shows that has a sizeable fan community on Twitter. They are likely to use Twitter heavily all weekend, speculating, guessing and generally enjoying tweeting about one of their favourite shows.

On Sunday 4th August.

Today, some of the celebs picked up on this, and the comments began to fly. 

Some were torn - they like the show and on any other day would tweet hard and fast about the live show but had publicly committed to the #trolliday.

Others wrote ranty pieces slagging off Doctor Who in general, timed to coincide with the buzz about the announcement. Nothing revolutionary, or even that incendiary there.

But next came the derision... and the bullying.

Jokey questions about how "men" were going to choose between watching the Doctor Who in their lonely bedsits and tweeting about it and making a stand with the women. You know, because Doctor Who fans are (1) automatically male and (2) obviously don't care if tweeting on Sunday somehow lets the Trolls carry on getting away with making disgusting abusive tweets.

It's so very disappointing that some of the silent protest crowd have taken to snide, dated, playground bullying of #DoctorWho fans.  

And it is bullying, or at the very least a deliberate form of peer pressure, designed to guilt trip Doctor Who fans into joining in the surrender which abandons the bridge to the trolls and participates in the silence that is part of the problem.

N.B. This is not in any way to compare a few snide comments about #DoctorWho fans with the horrific abuse experienced by the women in the article. The two things are in completely different leagues, worlds apart.

It's just that to my mind, trying to draw attention to Twitter's unacceptable la-la-la I can't hear you routine should not be going hand in hand with sneering at others.

Now, because fans of #DoctorWho are excited about the new Doctor being announced on Sunday, they are being co-opted into a specific form of protest when all they want to do is use twitter to be part of a fun, positive, community that celebrates a mutual interest. 

Apparently this is not OK, and all these fans, of all ages, genders, colours, shapes and sizes, are all men, and suddenly certain campaigners are looking down their noses at people just enjoying something they like. 

It's back to the late 80s and we're all awful nerds and embarrassing geeks again, apparently, fair game for playground-style ridicule and belittlement. 

This bullying element is not only disappointing, but there's no small irony there, of course. 

Worse is the idea that if you go on twitter on Sunday you must be at least passively accepting the criminal abuse. This is not only utter nonsense, but actually quite offensive and there just should not be this twitterverse version of peer pressure. The message is clear: Stay off twitter on Sunday or on Monday be labelled as part of the problem because you didn't give the trolls the silence they want? Er, no! 

I absolutely support any protest against abhorent, criminal abuse, even the silent protest, despite my feeling it is misconceived, but does it have to be part of it that we have a "my form of protest is better than your form of protest" snobbery, and worse, for that to be directed at a typical target of the laziest school playground bully? "Look at the nerds, the sad men in anoraks." 

It's not even an accurate representation of modern fandom; it's a lazy stereotype, and a generalisation. It's pigeon holing a group of people in order to belittle and marginalise them. And just because they enjoy a particular TV show, or genre of TV show? Really?

What with the rise of Comic-Con and the increasing prevalence of Cos Play and joyous celebration of fandoms over the last few years, I really thought we'd moved past this sort of thing, but apparently not.

Everyone, please, make your own minds up how you feel you want to deal with this. Don't be pressured by trolls, or bullied off by others. 

Personally, I will be using twitter the same as always, the way it should be used, but will include the #takebacktwitter hashtag in all of my Sunday tweets because I believe it is better to stay and make a stand and draw visible attention to the fact that most twitter users do not support, like, or tolerate hateful and criminally abusive use of twitter.

I just hope that the coverage of #trolliday on Monday focuses on the issues it was supposed to, and drops this element of cliquey snobbery about who's the best, nicest, most anti-troll and who's beneath you because they enjoy tweeting their friends about a TV show.

Live & let live - let the #DoctorWho fans #takebacktwitter on Sunday, and please don't make insulting generalisations that lump fans - who are not all men, actually - enjoying a TV programme together with criminal psychopaths. 

You're better than that, or at least, you should be.

The Mutants

 

Just because I haven't said it in a while... Best. Theme Tune. Ever.

It's...! #themutants

It's *another* different UNIT lab!

Pertwee's hair has started to get ridiculous...

Forgot this one has some choice music on it, doesn't it?
I was being polite. But it's only ep1. Tone-deaf bison may be mild compared to how I feel by ep6!

Ah, the Pertwee neck-rub. Usually when there's an element of embarassment too. Bad news to break? Don't know the answer? Rub the neck!

I want one of those wonky footballs the Time-Lords sent.

Geoffrey Palmer! Thank God! Nice sparkly cloak, Geoff.

Varan talks about Varan in the 3rd person. Kipling finds this strange.

Jo's been taken hostage and now they're shooting at her. She has all the luck! Part 2 on the way!

Naturally this is the best quality I've ever seen on this picture but it's still sadly evident that it came from NTSC.  NTSC. Jesus. What were they thinking? What an awful system.

It's true what they say. Cotton's Rotten.

"Die Overlord! And give us a bit of gurning while you're at it! Yes, very good." End of part 2! 

You know, it's only really the eyes that let #themutants down, the rest of the creatures' design is great.

Massive yellow CSO outline alert!

Ky's wonky football is full of tablets. Doping in sport is a serious problem kids.

Very unusually, Part 3 ends with a fade into the credits, almost like the gas creeping into the cave!

Not so special effects in the cave.

I'd forgotten Varan was Flanagan in the Wheel in Space. Obvious now.

Slo-mo space-fall cliffhanger-y thing! End of part 4!

Baker & Martin's padding for 6 parters is volumes more tedious than any of the stuff Mac Hulke is criticised for.

Don't know which is the bigger relief in episode 5; the return to superior PAL, or the fact that this is nearly over.

And the music is now well and truly getting on all 8 of my feline tits. It's like a robot cat being mangled in a blender.

End of part 5. "We'll all be done for." Good. Get on with it.

Super-Ky's lit up like a christmas tree.

"Doctor...Who did you say?" Groan. 

Clunky ending; Ky just kills the Marshall and everyone makes dodgy jokes about 'going back home'. Uncomfortable.

TTFN! K.
Coming Soon: The Keys of Marinus