Saturday, 28 February 2015

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Half expected those stars to form into Peter Davison's face then. 

Great work from James Horner; my favourite soundtrack to any of the Trek movies by a country mile. 

In the 23rd Century... 

Rebecca off Cheers has gone all Vulcan and taken over the Enterprise! 

They receive a distress call from the neutral zone. 

What snazzy new uniforms everyone's got. 

Much more military looking than anything previous. 

The stricken Kobayashi Maru is approached by Klingon ships none too keen on the Enterprise's presence in the neutral zone. 

The Klingons fire, and the bridge crew, including Spock, McCoy, Sulu & Uhura all die. 

Not really. 

It's all just a simulation. 

Kirk arrives to smirk at Saavik getting all the crew killed. 

McCOY: What did you think of my performance?
KIRK: I'm a Captain, not a drama critic. HA! See how YOU like it! 

Saavik is peeved at the no-win Kobayashi Maru exercise. Only Kirk has ever beaten the test. 

It's Kirk's birthday & Spock's bought him an antique copy of A Tale of Two Cities. 

Bones has bought Romulan Ale. Bones wins! 

Bones has also got him a pair of glasses because Kirk's allergic to Retnox 5. Bet that'll be important later. (It won't). 

Bones objects to Kirk treating his birthday like a funeral & tells him he wants to be out there (bed) hopping galaxies. 

Aboard the USS Reliant, Chekov & Capt. Terrell think they've found what they're looking for - a lifeless planet. 

But there's one teeny tiny liefsign, so they ask Dr. Carol Marcus if they can just, y'know, shift it somewhere else. Cheats. 

Pretty sure that's against the Prime Directive. 

Chekov & Terrell beam down to the desert wasteland in the middle of a sandstorm & find a knackered looking shack. 

If they're lucky, it might not be native, meaning the planet would be suitable. 

Whoever lives here has a pet of some sort that lives under sand. Nice book collection. Bet no one quotes Moby Dick later. 


The shack's inhabitants arrive & Chekov gets a nasty surprise when the leader unmasks himself. 

It's that Khan fella from the episode Space Seed that Chekov wasn't in... 

Khan never forgets a face, though, so it's not like Chekov just read a report or whatever. Must have been aboard, offscreen. 

Khan & his supermen are from 1996. Reckon Khan is more an Oasis man or Blur? Going to say Blur, because Khan definitely DOES look back in anger... 

Starfleet didn't know Seti Alpha 6 had bought it, and thought that 5 was 6. What? How crap are they!

Khan shows them his pets; a sort of cross between an earwig, an armadillo and a scorpion. Cute. 

Khan explains that the earwigs crawl in your head and wrap themselves around your brain... 

...which makes them susceptible to suggestion, then mad, then they jump in a corner, then dead. 
Mark Walker ‏@Mark_Walker the earwigs going in often edited on TV. 

Best bit! Still freaks me out! 

Kirk's got the band together for a reunion gig on the Enterprise. Captain Spock welcomes the Admiral aboard. 

Scotty explains McCoy got him through his "wee bout" - of shoreleave. The joke is that Scotty never takes a holiday, loves the ship too much, but they make it sound like Scott's had an STD or something. 

Rare scene here of Spock (and Saavik) speaking Vulcan here. 

Spock plays chicken with Kirk by letting Saavik steer his motor out of the drive... 

Used to think the movie Enterprise looked more 'real' than the TV version, but nostalgia wins out I reckon. 

Chekov & the Reliant crew tell Carol that Kirk's ordered them aboard to take their work. 

News that goes down like a cup of cold sick. Carol's bolshy son David is up in arms about the military always nicking the scientists' best toys. 

Back aboard the Enterprise Kirk treads on Sam's toes by cracking onto Rebecca about her new hairdo. 

Bones plays gooseberry... 

Carol's skyping Kirk so he decides to take it in his quarters. Please don't do a Leslie Grantham. 

When it seems the Enterprise will have to go on an actual mission to the space station, Spock passes command to Kirk. 

"You're my superior officer, and also my friend. I have been, and always will be, yours." Blimey, you'd think he was dying. 

Now there's a chance of a hook-up with Carol, Kirk decides to put the warp engines to the test. 

Khan's crew point out that with the Reliant under their command they can do what they like & don't need to go after Kirk. 

Khan agrees and they all go home and live happily ever after.  

The End. 

Mark Walker ‏@Mark_Walker is that the Director's Cut?

The Mild Irritation of Khan. 

Kirk lets Spock & Bones in on the top secret Project Genesis... 

"Genesis is life from lifelessness..." I'm assuming this is Peter Gabriel era Genesis. 

Genesis is an instant terraforming device that overwrites an entire planet; that's why they had to find a lifeless one... needs to be a blank canvas or it'll kill the pre-existing life. 

Jason McLaughlin@jangomac72 And that is the first piece of work the computer division of Lucasfilm which would later become Pixar did. 

Arriving near the station, the Enterprise is greeted by the silent Reliant... 

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, and it is very cold in space..." Khan heats things up with a phaser attack. 

They're caught off guard by the sneak attack and take heavy damage in engineering. 

Even worse than when you're in the bath, Kirk gets a phone call in the middle of the battle. It's Khan on line one... 

So weird when you think that Kirk and Khan never actually meet in the entire film. 

Kirk stalls Khan while Spock looks up cheat codes for the Reliant's shields. Up, up, down, down, left, A, right, B... 

With the Reliant's shields down, Kirk is able to take out Khan's warp drive & photon torpedoes. 

They've earned a breather, but Scotty's cadets have paid a heavy price. 

Bones does his best... 

The Enterprise limps towards the space station. It's all gone quiet over there. 

Kirk agrees to let Saavik come on the away party, so they all get their swanky space jackets on. 

Bones ignores a rat. That might be an alien ambassador for all you know, Bones. 

Most of the space station crew have all been slaughtered and strung up... Carol & David are absent... 

They find Chekov & Terrell locked in a box. 

Spock knows communications are being monitored so gives a coded timeframe for the repair work. 

Terrell & Chekov are allowed to tag along. Hang on, haven't they still got earworms? 

Kirk figures out Carol & David beamed beneath the surface of the nearby dead moon, and follows... 

David tries to get the drop on Kirk, but Kirk wins out without even ripping his shirt. 

Terrell & Chekov squeal to Khan about where Genesis is, and Khan beams it aboard. JJ didn't invent lens flare, you know.

But the earworms are in their final stage. Terrell disintegrates himself, but Chekov's crawls out of his ear when he's stunned. 

Kirk gets on the blower to tell Khan he's failed to kill him. Again. Khan will settle for marooning him. 

"I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you, and I wish to go on hurting you..."

All together now... 


Kirk & Carol rake over the past. Kirk did what she wanted and stayed away... but David is his son. 

Turns out Carol's already tested Genesis in an underground cavern. "Can I cook or can't I?" 

With time on their hands, Saavik decides to ask how Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru. Guess what... he cheated. 

And he also lied - minutes not hours; hours not days. Enterprise to the rescue! 

They can make it more of an even fight if they take to the nearby nebula. James Horner knocks it up a notch. 

Khan's taken the bait & fires a warning shot to keep them out of the nebula. 

Kirk calls Khan up: "Are you coming in the nebula or what? Bwaaaawwk, bwawk-bwawk-bwawk, bwawk, CHICKEN!" 

Love all this silent running submarine style stuff in the nebula. Spock suggests putting on their 3D glasses. Careful, this is how Dimensions in Time got started...

They get a great shot in on Khan, knackering his bridge & killing most of his band of supermen... 

...but there's trouble down in engineering. 

The Enterprise takes the Reliant from behind. Bow-chicka-wow-wow. 

Kirk calls Khan AGAIN. Needy or what? 

Khan, fatally wounded, has one last trick up his bizarre skeleton-gloved sleeve. 

Unlike Kirk, Khan isn't afraid to "Commit". 

Khan prefers to fire Genesis (by fax, presumably) but the Enterprise isn't going anywhere with its' knackered warp drive. 

Spock nerve pinches McCoy. "I don't have time to discuss this logically... remember..." 

Spock grapples with the warp drive, taking radiation full in the face. 

"From hell's heart I stab at thee, for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."
"Sorry, wrong number." 

Spock's done it & the ship gets away in the nick of time. 

But Bones tells Jim he better hurry down to engineering... 

Spock's still alive... just. 

Out of danger? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. Unless you vote UKIP. 

Steve Powner@StevePowner love this speech 

"I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?" 

Michael Bater ‏@GreenLeftie It's SHITE!

Lol. It knocks Kirk's "I cheated" into a cocked hat - saves the ship by dying, then comes back to life anyway. 

"I have been and always shall be your friend. Live long and prosper..." 

I always think Spock would be highly insulted at 2 things in his funeral... 

Firstly, Kirk's bit about his being the most human soul. Bit of a kick in his Vulcan teeth, really. 

Second, bagpipes. At least he didn't have to hear them, I suppose. 

JOHN MORRIS ‏@mashfan0678 May 26 stunningly moving version of "Amazing Grace" gives me chills!!! 

Yes, actually once the strings kick in, it's great. 

He's not really dead, so long as we remember him... 

"It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place that I go to than I have ever known..." 

Beautiful pay off to the beginning of the film. 

Oooh, Spock's voice doing the "Space, the final frontier" monologue as we see his coffin on the Genesis planet... 

RIP Leonard Nimoy 1931 - 2015

Coming Soon... Doctor Who and the Fangs of Time

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