Tuesday, 26 May 2015

"Winter Is Coming" (Game of Thrones 1.01)

A gate draws up... 

3 black-clad riders make their way through an icy tunnel... 

...into the snowy lands beyond. 

Looks amazing this, all the stuff in the snowy woodlands. 

The silence is even more chilling though. 

One of the riders comes across an horrific arrangement of mutilated and dismembered body parts... 

The riders were ordered to track the wildlings, but something else did this. 

A figure rises up behind one of the riders... 

...there's the sound of a blade, then the horses flee. 

The last man standing sees a little girl - the same one he saw dead - with terrifying pale blue eyes. 

Then the chasing figure impales and beheads his comrade before his eyes... 

And now, ladies and gentlewotsits, the theme and *that* title sequence. Thing of beauty it is. 

Now we're at a castle in a less snowy land... 

3 brothers practice archery while their dad, Sean Bean, and their mum, 'er off of 24, watch on. 

Hopeless Bran is soon shown up by his young sister Arya. 

Sean Bean's got some trouble to sort out... 

...so he brings Bran along to learn the family business. 

It's the guy from the snow forest; sentenced to beheading for desertion. 

Sean doesn't believe there are "White Walkers" (the zombies in the snow forest) any more. 

Chop chop. 

Sean and sons come across a dead stag & a dead wolf, who've died fighting... 

But there are five wolf cubs - one for each of the Beany babies. 

In the capital city of King's Landing, brother and sister Jaime and Cersei Lannister worry that the dead Hand of the King may not have taken all his secrets to the grave. 

I'm sure they can't have anything too sinister to hide, can they..

Sean Bean's Mrs. has had the news by Raven Mail of the Hand's death. 

The King's invited himself round too. 

The older Stark lads have a shave. Get a hair cut, too, you bunch of hippies. 

Mrs. Bean tells Bran to cut out the climbing. 

  Seems like good advice.

 The cast of Taggart line up behind Sean as the King almost literally rolls into town. 

Mark Addy rocks up like Brian Blessed playing Henry VIII. 

King Bob wants to visit the tomb of Ned Bean's dead sister. Whatever floats your boat, you're the king. 

The queen's brother goes to find their other brother, Tyrion, the "imp". 

He's got his hands full. 

The King's come to town to ask Ned Bean to be the new Hand of the King. This might be something of a posioned chalice. 

Over in Pentos, Viserys Targaryen plans to marry his sister Daenerys off to Dothraki Warlord Khal Drogo. What a gent. 

Baines makes a rather creepy assessment of his sis, so she walks into a scalding bath. That'll show him. 

Roger Alam assures Baines the King of the Horsemen is just stuck in traffic. 

It's a bit nippy in Horse Town. 

Rog advises giving asking the Horse King whether he has it away with the Gee Gees a miss. 

Henry VIII gropes a local waitress and the Queen is not amused. 

C4 News presenter Jon Snow catches up with his uncle Jesus of Ripper Street. 

Tyrion gives the moping Snow a one-liner kick up the arse. "All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes." 

Jesus of Ripper Street warns Ned Bean that shit's going down in the snow forest. 

Ned Bean's daughter gets a rather personal quizzing from Queen Bitch. 

Mrs. Bean's sister has written to say the Queen's family killed the old Hand. 

Good job no-one they know's just been made the new Hand, then. Oh, hang on...

Back in Horse Town, the Horse King takes Dani to a live sex show. 

Bit strong for a 1st date.

Then a bit of light disemboweling for the half-time show. 

Amongst the usual stocking fillers like books, socks, snakes and hearts, Dani is given three Dragon eggs. They might come in handy later, best hang on to them. 

Aquaman gives Dani his best horse, then decides its consummating time. 

Back at Winterfell, Bran's off climbing again. 

He catches the Queen and her brother enjoying a round of "Incest" - the game for all the family. 

...and is promptly shoved out of the window! 

Should have listened to his mother. 


Coming Soon... Ghost Light

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